Since my grandma passed, I’ve been struggling with the concept of aging.

I’ll preface by saying I’m an anorexic, so I’m very body conscious since I was 11 due to this. I do not believe it’s the idea that I’m going to be “ugly” when I get old that is the issue.

My issue is the lack of control that I have when it comes to aging. I don’t like when my body doesn’t look or react in the way I want it to.

I hate looking in the mirror because I’m starting to not recognize my face. I have always been unable to determine what I look like, so this is not a new concept.

I feel like it went from the normal amount of self hate and control issues and ramped up to 1000%. The first thing I do when I meet people now is try and guess their weight and age 😭

I know I am not old at 26, but I can’t help but feel like an 80 year old.

Has anyone experienced this? How did you overcome it?

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KneAuxBody

Dia, my dear ❣️👩🏻 daughter, it's called Body Dysmorphic Disorder, BDD. But you're hella smart and probably know this. But Daddy 💁🏻‍♂️ is gonna try and be helpful anyway.
(It's my job as a Dad you know!)

https://bdd.iocdf.org/about-bdd/do-i-have-bdd/

Like many disorders, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been shown to be helpful in treating BDD symptoms and is the only type of psychological treatment for BDD that is supported by research.

SSRI antidepressants also help reduce these obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors (which are symptoms of BDD). They are effective for treating BDD, major depressive disorder, most anxiety disorders including obsessive compulsive disorder, and other conditions.

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KneAuxBody

@666Maggotz Am I?
I feel like I'm being kinda overbearing in that you might already know all this and be just tired of people trying to help when you've "got it" already (as my other daughter tells me when I stick my nose it unasked).

666Maggotz · F

@KneAuxBody it’s more like I really appreciate the sentiment. I sometimes feel like nobody cares but I have a hard time reaching out to people irl. It’s really great to have the support.

KneAuxBody

@666Maggotz Babe ❣️🤗 I appreciate your delimna dealing with the things you do, it's not easy overcoming the ideas we convince ourselves of, due to the crap we've been dished and forced upon us. It, though unreal, becomes true.

I care deeply, sometimes too much, about some and don't like to see the hurt or worry or anxiety or guilt or depression brought about that makes anyone feel broken.

I'll happily be here for you. And if you want can be my daughter or buddy or girl friend. I'll love you like a Daddy, or whoever and as much as you need.
You'll just have to tell me what you need, what you think, how you feel, what you think, etc.
😘

SW-User

Sorry for your loss

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