what happens if i eat nothing but captain crunch for the next 60 years?

Among other things, you would die from B12 deficiency, assuming you're eating it dry.

I doubt if you'd make it 60 years doing that.

Unless you're eating with Crunchberries. Crunchberries are the food of the gods.

It's risky, but it you use Captain Morgan instead of milk you'll be fine.

You turn orange?

you get so bored you throw it at the wall