That situation is super rough. I know some parents rely on their parents to spend time with their kids. And everyone outside of family wants to get paid for it. But that's really just adding more manpower to try give kids the attention they need. Its good to know that you recognize you feel drained and can take steps forward to help the situation. I know it hurts to not be able to give something to someone you love, and it hurts to not make that commitment so it really is a catch 22 situation. I was fairly autonomous as a kid because I saw and became attentive to the stress of my parent and learned to not enjoy certain things I knew stressed him out. Like birthdays or Gift giving. As a kid, everything became "me" centric as opposed to "we". What I knew I wanted as opposed to what looked fun.

I know my boss works too hard and family is draining her far beyond what should be possible. We are in the worst position we've ever been in. Her family keeps requiring time, our team is down from regular 9 to regular 2 and we might not have jobs in 5 weeks from a restructure. She let go of a lot that used to be urgent or high importance due to the work situation while seemingly I picked up the "emergency, needs attention now" slack and she gave me leverage to essentially come in late 20-50 minutes each day and leave early. So... Your coworker may not need to do what you do, but the problem can be put off until your personal life and work life reaches a compromise. For context, I work in a hospital so emergency means emergency quite literally sometimes.

You are doing great. If this being drained thing goes on too long like weeks or months... I'd seek professional counseling because that crap will do physical harm if left unchecked. Also cuz it sucks.

Just my opinion based on you comments above. But your husband has to step it up more to help you with the house and your son. That "temporary" you noted goes both ways.

More power to you

Sounds like you could use some help!