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The guy I was meant to go on a date with cancelled because he was too anxious

At first he lied and said it was work, but later he confessed he is a really anxious person and is seeking help for that. He assured me he wants to meet and was really apologetic.

My initial reaction is to try and help him, but I do this so often and end up with projects rather than partners.

I'm so conflicted rn.
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Sadly, people who suffer from anxiety do this; they stop themselves from carrying out some activities, even if they want to do them. Their anxiety is triggered by several things: fear of the unknown, self-doubt, lack of trust and an unsecured environment
( away from their home, something they can't control). I think he deserves credit for confessing the truth and most likely does indeed want to meet you but is just too anxious to do so. While it's nice of you to want to help him, he may need instead the assistance of a qualified psychotherapist. I would suggest you allow him time to seek help and heal from it. Although it may or may not work, depending on his willingness and capacity to overcome his anxieties, and also depending on how good his therapist is. Depending on your feelings for him and your sense of self-preservation, you'll have to decide for yourself whether to wait for him or move on. Good luck.
Kuronekko · 41-45, F
@LilMissAnonyMOUSE ok, that was a lot that you took from my comment, I didn't mean anything by it.
@Kuronekko

I understand anxiety pretty damn well.


I didn't take a lot from your comment...just that it can be taken another way.

But all is good, don't worry about it. I was just trying to be helpful.
Kuronekko · 41-45, F
I can see both sides of this, as I'm sure you can too.

I could deal with someone being anxious if they're working on it, but he lied at first. And no offense to men, but they'll say they're working on something when they really want you to fix it and make it all better. They'll have you all mushified to them, then the issues creep in... You know how it goes from there 😂

That's a tough call. What about him interested you?
Kuronekko · 41-45, F
@MarbleMarvel Yeah you got it. 😂

He is just a nice, enthusiastic, chatty guy. Easy to talk to. Not like the others who ive been talking to. Its been hard work 😪
@Kuronekko that's a tough call. Of course having anxiety doesn't make someone less worth it. But once you've taken on a few "projects" you just want someone who can handle their own shiz 😂

Oh yeah online dating is like pulling teeth outta those mfers 😆
Kuronekko · 41-45, F
@MarbleMarvel yeah, just once Id like to date someone who has done therapy, or I will take that on.
Ceinwyn · 26-30, F
He had the courage to admit to something that was difficult for him, and he respects you enough that not being fully honest bothered him.

I’d agree he’s worth the time and effort. He’s not perfect, but he is sincere and that’s a better start than many.
Kuronekko · 41-45, F
@Ceinwyn Idk about worth the effort on my part, but yes, I appreciate his candour. Everyone has their stuff, most keep it to themselves until they really have you.
BlueVeins · 22-25
Nothing wrong with being patient if you want and trying to support him, but he's the one who's got to help himself.
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
Idk, I have anxiety and I used to always need a drink to do stuff. I kind of admire that he was honest. Kinda cute. Worth a shot if you like him
Kuronekko · 41-45, F
@Notsimilarreally I still get anxiety from time to time. It just sounds kinda severe and I am looking for someone who has been through therapy, not someone who hasn't done the work yet. I tend to turn into their therapist otherwise.
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
@Kuronekko oh, well in that case, he probably isn’t what you’re looking for.

The epitome of starting out behind the eight ball. You’re looking to date, not be a therapist. Break the pattern.
Kuronekko · 41-45, F
@OlderSometimesWiser Yep, it's so difficult for me having been where he is and knowing how I got past it.

I just wanna fix the world, sigh
@Kuronekko You’re a good person with good intentions but you’re likely to end up right back at square one.
Kuronekko · 41-45, F
@OlderSometimesWiser I know this all too well.
I think I’d move on to the next.
Matt85 · 36-40, M
my man needs some propanolol
pdockal · 56-60, M
Only you can decide what's best for you
Unless your a submissive then your dom would
Jenny1234 · 56-60, F
No don’t do it. It will end up not being what you’re looking for
sound like a scam ,he wonts you to baby him,
@Kuronekko your a good woman,
@Kuronekko how old is this boy,
@Kuronekko he is a tipical city boy, raised like a cissy girl, he need to be put on a farm or ranch, see what a hard days work is how men live, women that cut there fire wood ,drive tractors ,slop pigs, this is just a small part of growing up ,
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Kuronekko · 41-45, F
@Penny well he hasn't said a word today so I might agree with you.
Penny · 46-50, F
@Kuronekko sorry if you were hopeful
Kuronekko · 41-45, F
@Penny I am keeping my expectations rather low lol
Tell him he's not your type and move on.

 
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