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I Have Taken Anabolic Steroids

I've been clean since July, but I remember why I started in the first place. I didn't like who I had become, but I like this less.

In the words of Brooks Hatlen;

I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay.

(And no, I'm not talking about suicide. I'm talking about using again)
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Brooksy41-45, M
I'm sorry for this dramatic post, folks. It was out of line. Things are a little out of control right now and quite frankly, using steroids, the right way, requires a lot of hard work and discipline and looking back, the ability to keep my fingers on the pulse of it all, was appealing. I still haven't decided against it, but I'm working on that 馃檪
SW-User
I've been intimidating you with my workout stories? Listen you don't have to try to keep up with me! You just need to compete with yourself.
Brooksy41-45, M
Yes, you beast, you 馃槙
InOtterWordsF
Good, and I'm still here too
Same time tm?
Brooksy41-45, M
@InOtterWords: I thought about you today. Had a 4-hour drive. Glad you're still with me, battlebuddy
InOtterWordsF
@Brooksy: I thought about you too.
馃挭
SerenitreeF
@Brooksy: this drama isn't trivial, as some are. I went through a very rough patch with my granddaughter when she was getting clean. I know it's difficult. Her drug was meth (and of course, eventually, anything she could get her hands on) but I saw her struggle. It was about six months after she quit. She did relapse. She felt shame and fear. That's not drama. That's life. It's real. She's been clean now for four years. She says she occasionally WANTS to use again, but she lost her children to the foster care system once already. It took two years to prove she deserved to have them back on her life. I think they keep her strong.

I know you have a some fine helpers right here. Just know that my thoughts are with you.

Dec. 18/16
4:21 pm
Brooksy41-45, M
@Serenitree: Thank you. My kiddos are what keep me clean. It's not that it's all that addictive, but I really was oblivious to the world around me and that's kind of what I'm missing right now. The next meal, the program, that particular muscle group, definition, that's all I had to focus on. Life was easy. Facing reality can be a real bugger sometimes.

That's wonderful news about your granddaughter. I hope she stays strong
Brooksy41-45, M
@InOtterWords: We probably will, from here on out 馃槈
InOtterWordsF
@Brooksy: I'm counting on you