I Have Taken Anabolic Steroids

I've been clean since July, but I remember why I started in the first place. I didn't like who I had become, but I like this less.

In the words of Brooks Hatlen;

I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay.

(And no, I'm not talking about suicide. I'm talking about using again)

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herhiddenface

Please don't

Brooksy · 41-45, M

For the life of me, I couldn't remember your user and desperately wanted to know if you went or not. I've still been praying for you. Are you there?

herhiddenface

I'm here. Always.

Brooksy · 41-45, M

I meant to cbt.

herhiddenface

@Brooksy: nope. Starts in new year have to call on Monday so I can see if can get dates and times. Super nervous and anxious about it though. I'm in an online space for bpd and people who know people with and they have been helping me a little with my emotions and anxiety until then.

Brooksy · 41-45, M

I'm blown away by your courage to face it though. I can't imagine how emotionally strong you are

Serenitree · F

@herhiddenface: my daughter and two of my grandchildren have been to the CBT therapy. They all felt that it was a great help. Daughter is borderline, and the grandchildren both have social anxiety disorder. I'm not even sure what that is, but they said CBT therapy helps.

Dec. 17/16
11:35 am

Brooksy · 41-45, M

@Serenitree: I'm told it's the only treatment path that will truly help my wife, but she refuses to accept the diagnosis. The world is the problem, not her.

herhiddenface

@Brooksy: you don't have to check it but I did pm you about the above comment

Brooksy · 41-45, M

@herhiddenface: I will 🙂 I'm just about to leave though. I'll be in touch.

herhiddenface

@Brooksy: no rush if I don't respond it's just cause I work later.

Serenitree · F

@Brooksy: I know people like your wife. It's impossible, in my experience, to convince them that they can't change the world, so they have to change how they react to the world and the people in it. They have to come to that realization on their own.

Good luck my friend. I hope you can crawl past this crisis and stand up straight and strong on the other side.

Dec. 17/16
1:01 pm

herhiddenface

@Brooksy: I'm gonna just try to send you all the info. If you have questions just ask. That way there isn't so much back and forth communication. 🙃