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Why are women objectified more than men ? Even by other women ?

On EP, a guy was "complaining” that women’s bodies are more fetishized than men’s, and he thought it was unfair. It kind of [b]is[/b], but not necessarily in the way he meant.

Women’s bodies are valued as things, first and foremost. Things to display, things to barter. Even other women buy into it. That’s probably why so many people think they have the right, even the imperative to legislate women’s reproductive choices.

Rant over.
CopperFox420 · 36-40, F
I fell into objectifying myself for a brief while. It was sooooooo easy. I had my pick and it was too much. I realized quickly it did nothing for me. It was an empty, bottomless pit.

Now that I took my power back men treat me like shit again. Or they don’t even look or care or want to get to know me at all.

I doubt I’ve ever meant much more than a lay, a meal maker and a boredom buster.

All these feelings of worthlessness…. I wanted a partner to share life and wonder and grow but men don’t seem to care.

I don’t know how it happens. I spend most my time with my son and I’m thankful to see that being a jerk isn’t inherent for males, it must form later in life. This disgust for imperfection. It’s disgusting.
This message was deleted by its author.
Ynotisay · M
@CopperFox420 I can't speak to your situation as a man but I would suggest being careful with "men don’t seem to care." I think that needs to be qualified a bit. The reality is that a WHOLE lot of men turn off immediately to women who seek attention solely through their looks. I know I always have. Safe to say most of my buddies do too. And I've got some good looking, 'desirable' buds. Maybe we just gravitate towards each other but the shared perspective is that the REAL stuff, that matters, isn't driven by looks.
Frankly, it's always been a bit of a mystery to me. People create representations of what they like and I have never understood why so many girls and women still pick female form over male one. Even I did when I was a little girl but at the time it was more of symbols than real anatomy, of course. Drawing women was easier and more interesting...perhaps because I had myself as a model and women have been making themselves visually more interesting for ages. Long hair, jewellery, dresses, makeup ..all that stuff. The symbols of men were always very plain and dull in our culture. But if I think solely about anatomy, like nudes...I can't wrap my head around the fact that firstly, so many creative straight women still pick a female form over the male and secondly, generally many straight women claim that they prefer to look at nudes of women over nudes of men. Why on earth?

To be honest, I'm a woman who objectifies men to some degree so I kind of have less problems with men objectifying women. But I still talk about visual aspect of things, the problem with the rights to one's bodily autonomy and reproductive choices is a much more serious topic that has more to do with general abuse of power that affects both men and women. One thing I can't wrap my head around is how can a male circumcision still be a standard procedure in first world countries. Irreversible and without a consent.
It’s going to take a long time to change that mindset
But it’s happening, slowly . As a father of two girls, I do my best to teach them they are more than that.
Ynotisay · M
I think the "women buy in to it" part is really important. It's a two way street.

When I was about 16 I was listening to a radio show with two women discussing objectification. Something I've never been on board with. Both from a personal perspective as well as the women who buy in to it and, in essence, objectify themselves. I called in to the show and I'm sure they took the call because they wanted to appease a kid. Or maybe "teach" me. And the crux of my question was, "Do you dress up, wear makeup, and do everything you can to look good and, if so, why?" And I remember them going from patronizing to flummoxed pretty quickly. Because there really isn't a way to answer that question without it coming back to desiring positive attention or feedback from others based solely on physical looks.

Is it a society thing? Sure. I think it's probably an animal thing too. We're hardwired for it. The bird with the prettiest feathers gets to breed. But it's the hypocrisy around the issue that I have a hard time with. "I do it for myself" doesn't quite fly with me. Because the "self" is looking for that feedback. Now in no way does that mean a woman can't wear what she wants. Or be in actual danger with the "she was asking for" bullshit. That comes from the weakest, most insecure men out there. But I do see a lot hypocrisy around the issue.

All I know is that when I cross paths with women obviously seeking attention, where their being is seemingly wrapped in to their looks, I won't give it to them. There's other things that are SO much more important. Things that I personally feel should be acknowledged and encouraged way before physical beauty. And that holds true for women who objectify men.
It really doesn't help matters when our reproductive rights are taken away and those decisions are made by mostly men
@Chernobylplaygrounds I guess we have a lot to learn from those brave Iranian women who showed they are tired of being pissed on then.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
Well testosterone AND patriarchy make it normal for men to think about sex every couple seconds, advertise with sex (women), sell sex ( porn), buy sex ( sex content). Women TEND not to mentally lead with sex.

When my husband and I watch movies he randomly blurts out things like wow she has big boobs lol. I don't blame him for being a man but I probably didn't notice since I was watching the story.
Even gay males tend to be way more sex driven and promiscuous than lesbian females. ( its not related necessarily to being hetero). If you visit a gay club its all about sex most of the time. So if they were the majority perhaps then men would be objectified the most lol

So my point is that in a male driven society they are going to push sex at every angle. And women buy into it hook line and sinker because they can use it to obtain what they want and sometimes just because they are brain washed into believing that this is the purpose of a woman to be beautiful to men.
Many exceptions to what I said but overall....
Buildingadoor · 26-30, F
@REMsleep Why do men with partners need to comment and express excitement over other women's boobs? Aren't they happy with their partner's size? It always bothers me. Maybe I don't understand it. But I see this sort of thing as a threat, that if a man is so sex-driven, he's also more likely to cheat, which means he feels unfulfilled in his current relationship.
markansas · 61-69, M
there was a time when woman was chattel or property of the man they married.. its ingrained into our culture.. woman got rights in America in.. quote here
Married Women's Property Acts, in U.S. law, series of statutes that gradually, beginning in 1839, expanded the rights of married women to act as independent agents in legal contexts.
and in england..
Women who held property of any kind were required to give up all rights to it to their husbands on marriage. However, a long-running campaign by various women's groups led in 1870 to the Married Women's Property Act.
.. so woman were trophy's . a prize to be looked at and told what to do...
and the sad part is .. some parts of the world it is still that way..
is that what you meant? mark
Jorogumo · F
So many 100s of years of women being seen as a commodity and only valued by the using of them. It takes men to help change things as well, because it was men who created this objectification for their own benefits.
SwampFlower · 26-30, F
Up until recent history we were literally considered as nothing more than a man's property.

I remember my maternal great grandmother teaching me her values before I was even old enough to read. Thankfully I had elders on the other side reminding me that women used to have all the power in some places.

It will take generations to unlearn the damage.
@SwampFlower My grandmother (the original Jewel Broussard) put herself through college so that she could teach at the "colored" schools, they always needed teachers. At age 32, her family told her she had to give it up and get married. The "good news", they told her, was because she was still pretty, they had found a prospective groom for her, among family friends. To refuse would’ve left her ostracized, not just from her family, but her entire community. So that was her lot. Her son, (my father) said that he saw how sad she often was.
SwampFlower · 26-30, F
@bijouxbroussard Hard to believe that there are women now who are still advocating to go back to that place.
@SwampFlower That’s what blows my mind. They want that cage, not just for themselves, but they want to drag other women back, too. Often it seems to be younger women who have some romanticized idea about those days.
Leftover from partriarchal structures since lust and desire are still seen as a male thing and I barely see any representation of female lust and desire aiming at the male body. Women unfortunately buy into it and believe that their self worth is directly tied to the way society views our bodies.

It would be nice to see both genders with different body types represented in media. Shifting from perpetuating beauty standards and unrealistic male expectations to representing real people and the beauty that lies in our bodies without having to sexualize them.
@RebelliousSpirit [b]Agreed[/b].
latinladybug · 41-45, F
Some women [b]allow[/b] themselves to be objectified by society, for various reasons such as money or so they can feel good that they are recognized in some way, shape, or form. It's pretty sad.
hunkalove · 61-69, M
Ive always liked Elaine's explanation on Seinfeld. Women's bodies are a work of art. Men's bodies are like a Jeep, they're just for getting around in.
@hunkalove That's nice but it's not an excuse for objectification.
It's the opposite of respect.
val70 · 51-55
The "why" question then. First thought of mine: necessity? I try not to do that myself, but I've seen recently a female on here describing Jacinda Ardern as a thing. That shocked me. I'm right wing, but heck, what's going on there then?
val70 · 51-55
@bijouxbroussard Sure, and that's just it. The necessity is still there
@val70 But it isn’t. It’s societal construct, and if it suited everyone no part of it would’ve changed.
val70 · 51-55
@bijouxbroussard I do understand what you're saying but my point is that one can't just change it by switching over to something better and ready made. It should rather be by edging in better conditions and morals, and one of those is to try to understand each other better
Your country is like a third world place, in this regard.
I can't wrap my head around, HOW this was allowed to happen.
...The legislation that allowed men to have power over women's bodies!
@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON It’s weird the way we seem to have taken steps forward, just to take several back, with "traditionalists" trying to claim that society was "better off" when women "knew their place". If that kind of backwards thinking worked for everyone, things would never have changed.
Gaiia · F
It's cause they seem generally speaking, to most people, more attractive desirable and beautiful.
The problem is that that, like you say, as people we become objetified. Not treated like people but as toys.
1. Age for age, the average man has 14 times more libido that the average woman.
For men, the eyes are an erogenous zone.

2. We all have four possible reactions when we first lay eyes on someone, a potential:
friend,
enemy,
mate,
or neutrality, disinterest.
The reaction is conditioned by culture, but it's basic and quite often unconscious.

3. Put these two together and the results are inevitable.
It's our social training that teaches us to inhibit our inappropriate urges.
Many men will try to get away with transgressions if they think they can.

Advertising, movies and media merely use what already exists to increase their profits.
Well it been a part of most culture for over 10,000 years. With those kind of time frames sexual selection starts to kick in and solidify that behavior into the species.
Crazywaterspring · 61-69, M
I taught my daughters to be strong, independent individuals. Woe to anyone who puts them down due to their gender.

They have been published and are quite successful.
bookerdana · M
BOND..women want him,men want to BE him😑
bookerdana · M
@LunadelobosIAMTHEDRAGON I didn't create that line😑
@bookerdana That’s still not objectification. Both men and women admire the fictional character, but he’s viewed as an accomplished person, not an object.
bookerdana · M
@bijouxbroussard No it was Sean Connery as an OBJECT

AND I was thinking about Elvis....And he went on the air
And he shook it like a chorus girl
And he shook it like a Harlem queen
He shook it like a midnight rambler baby
Like you never seen
Like you never seen
Never seen......Gillian Welch

Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person solely as an object of sexual desire. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity. basic definition
DrWatson · 70-79, M
And I think it is also the reason so many women are so anxious about not being pretty enough, slim enough, or whatever enough.
Ontheroad · M
And again I find myself wishing we lived on the same block so I could have coffee with you each morning!
I enjoyed reading this tread and the views immensely 😊
Dino11 · M
Neither gender should be.
@Dino11 Agreed.
Dino11 · M
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
You'll have to go back in time so far that there are not even pictorial images to find the answer. For even those images at exist are of women being objectified.

See any cave"man" images in caves. It's not really just "patriarchal" societies since there really wasn't much of a society at all. Not even a written language.
latinladybug · 41-45, F
Unfair? Lol. He really has no idea 🤷‍♀️.
ChipmunkErnie · 70-79, M
Speaking personally, I just believe women tend to be more graceful than males. Even the best male dancers, to me anyway, seem less graceful than a good female dancer.
Japrost · 36-40, M
@Japrost What ?
iamonfire696 · 36-40, F
Why are women more objectified then men?

Because that is what we are taught from birth and this is everywhere where we look.

For generations women have been objectified in all forms of media. It happens so often that it’s just normal to everyone now at this point that we are even desensitized to it that we don’t notice.

It’s everywhere, it’s in Disney movies, cartoons, prime time tv, advertising, magazines, etc.

It’s gotten even worse with the internet, filters, airbrushing, cosmetic procedures, etc. So much pressure is placed on women to be perfect.

Even here you can see the responses women get. Nude pictures of a perfect woman get so much attention, nudes of a not so perfect women don’t get as much positive feedback.

Now in the US women are being told they do not have rights to their own bodies. Men are making these decisions for them. We are going backwards and not forwards.
@iamonfire696 I also kind of wonder where is the male equivalent of Karen. 🤔 You know, that kind of annoying customer that feels very privileged and complains about everything. What's his name again? Oh, he doesn't have one...because when a man complains he's the boss. And everyone just cheers we found a name for an annoying woman who dared to open her mouth. Both men and women equally.
@CrazyMusicLover That’s a good point.
iamonfire696 · 36-40, F
@CrazyMusicLover His name is Richard, he’s married to a Karen and their kids are Chad and Becky 🤣.

 
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