This is bad for me.

I remember feeling like that a few years ago. Only I had EP instead of SW as my crutch and comfort. I was anxious and depressed literally 24/7. I was so deep into it that I didn't even fully realize how horrible I felt a lot of the time, if that makes sense. Only now that I've climbed out of that pit do I see how truly and purely miserable and crippled by anxiety and depression I was. Brushing my teeth took a massive mental effort for fuck sake.

It just takes one step to begin. Absolutely every step with the thought of moving forward counts. Even when you feel like you are going one step forward and 18 steps back. You don't have to be perfect to be able to get better. Messing up won't take away from your progress. It won't "undo" your previous actions or somehow make it so they don't "count".
Hang in there. Good luck.

They aren't useless at all. They mean more than you think, and at least you HAVE those moments of realization or self actualization, so many never have them, and think there's nothing wrong at all. Because it's just so easy to merely "exist",rather than to LIVE. You want to live, and you think you should. And at some point perhaps you will start doing exactly that when you're absolutely ready. You're conscious, and that MEANS something.

The first step to solving a problem is admitting that we have one. And writing about it also.
"The more I learn about others the better I understand myself." I don't remember the Author but the words I do recall, and have, many times.

This is serious dude! You need to consult a doc...please read this to know your symptoms better - - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_addiction_disorder#Issues_with_identifying_diagnostic_criteria

Time management and small goals help move on from being stuck in ruts - cheers to hoping you better soon 🍷😌 (ps. it's grape juice in the cup)