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Is it rude to say "You cant be sad all the time" when someone they love passed away?

Poll - Total Votes: 5

That was beyond rude

You're right

I dont know

You can only vote on one answer.

It's 5 months since my friend lost her close childhood friend since the age of 3. I told her I'm so sorry for her loss. Then I said, "Your best friend wouldn't want you be to depressed right? So your can't be sad all the time."
She didn't respond for 30 minutes.
I was like, "Look I know it hurts and I know how you feel." she hasn't responded to me since. I texted her this morning, "Hey sis. I didn't offend you did I? If I did I'm sorry."
My other friends said that was pretty harsh. They said I have so point but I shouldn't have said that to her and that's probably why she hasn't responded back.

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SailorMarz · F

The way you said it wasn't so bad....in 4th grade this girls dad had died months ago & she would cry about it every day in class, like around noon time & the teacher had enough& scolded her & said "GET OVER IT"

SylviaStarr · F

@SailorMarz: Wow he said that to her? That's a bit extreme. That is her father after all.

SailorMarz · F

@BigDana27: It was a lady teacher lol. Yeah it was fucked up

SylviaStarr · F

@SailorMarz: Why would she do that to a 9-10 year old girl?! That's her father for crying out loud. I didn't know some teachers can be so insensitive. If that was me, I would have told the teacher off! Teachers should scream at greving children!

SW-User

That was a majorly insensitive thing to say. It was all around what you felt, which is not wanting her to be sad all the time, and not really trying to understand what she felt. She lost someone important to her. Someone she used to talk to all the time, to laugh, to share secrets with. Once you lose that, there's just a hole in your life. Maybe try putting yourself in her shoes. You're upset because she hasn't even responded to you. Imagine how she feels.

SW-User

That's a dickish thing to say to her.
People go through grief in different ways, and it takes as long as it does to not be sad.

View 5 more replies »

SW-User

@Mongoheadmonster: That is all fine, professional help and whatnot.
But when people we count on to be friends begin to tell us to get over something that could be ripping us apart, that connection with a friend can sever. Because that friend has just shown her what a downer and a burden she is.

Mongoheadmonster · 46-50, M

I see your point

SylviaStarr · F

@Aidolovemostofyourthoughts: what?

Mongoheadmonster · 46-50, M

She shouldn't get too bent out of shape about that

SylviaStarr · F

@Mongoheadmonster: EXACTLY. I'm just telling her her beat friend would want her to be happy. I was just telling her the truth.

SW-User

Grieving takes a hell of a long time to get over.

SylviaStarr · F

@badazzbasicbich: I know. I'm not telling her to forget her friend I just don't want her to be sad. She has been depressed over her friends death and a teacher of hers had enough and said, "GET OVER IT ALREADY! It's been 5 months already. People die."

SW-User

I read other people's comments and @saliormarz just said the thing about the teacher telling the girl to get over it. Nice try. 😒

SylviaStarr · F

@badazzbasicbich: its true about my experience!

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