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Is it rude to say "You cant be sad all the time" when someone they love passed away?

Poll - Total Votes: 5

That was beyond rude

You're right

I dont know

You can only vote on one answer.

It's 5 months since my friend lost her close childhood friend since the age of 3. I told her I'm so sorry for her loss. Then I said, "Your best friend wouldn't want you be to depressed right? So your can't be sad all the time."
She didn't respond for 30 minutes.
I was like, "Look I know it hurts and I know how you feel." she hasn't responded to me since. I texted her this morning, "Hey sis. I didn't offend you did I? If I did I'm sorry."
My other friends said that was pretty harsh. They said I have so point but I shouldn't have said that to her and that's probably why she hasn't responded back.

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SW-User

That's a dickish thing to say to her.
People go through grief in different ways, and it takes as long as it does to not be sad.

SylviaStarr · F

@Aidolovemostofyourthoughts: I know but I don't want her to be depressed all the time. It's the truth. You cant be sad all the time.

SW-User

@BigDana27: That is not how grief works. You can't will away the sadness.

SylviaStarr · F

@Aidolovemostofyourthoughts: I know. I wasn't trying to be rude but it's the truth you know. Sorry but I don't sugarcoat things.

SW-User

@BigDana27: Good for you. It's like telling someone with depression to switch it off, or get over it. And it doesn't work. You might be trying to be helpful, but you just showed her you don't understand her and are probably getting bothered by her.

Mongoheadmonster · 41-45, M

@Aidolovemostofyourthoughts: depends on how she is...if the sadness is consuming her life then she really should focus on happier things...maybe she should seek professional help

SW-User

@Mongoheadmonster: That is all fine, professional help and whatnot.
But when people we count on to be friends begin to tell us to get over something that could be ripping us apart, that connection with a friend can sever. Because that friend has just shown her what a downer and a burden she is.

Mongoheadmonster · 41-45, M

I see your point

SylviaStarr · F

@Aidolovemostofyourthoughts: what?