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Shadowfire's Sarcastic Product Reviews

Are you looking for a music streaming service that doesn't get you in the slightest? Well, look no further! SoundCloud has a library of thousands of songs, yet it's still a 50/50 shot that they won't have the one specific song you're looking for. And if they do, and you do start rocking out to it, it will be followed by an unskippable ad, followed by songs that have literally nothing in common with the song you originally searched for. Or try SoundCloud premium, where for $11.50 a month, you can skip the ads, and still have the fun of hearing a bunch of songs that have nothing to do with the original song you wanted to hear.

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Zaphod42 · 51-55, M

Well, there’s always Amazon Music! There you get a basic music subscription with your $14.99 a month Prime subscription, and it’ll have about half the specific tracks you want. So you’ll upgrade to Premium for an additional $8.99 a month that’s billed separately from prime because the two separate charges billed monthly keep you from realizing that you’re now paying $287.76 a year for a subscription that essentially is used twice a month or so to get a package a day or two earlier, maybe a movie a month and if you’re lucky a series you enjoy, and music that, after the novelty wears off, you’ll maybe use a couple times a month if you’re in the mood.

Poppies · 61-69, F

And yet.......

P.T. Barnum once said, “There's no such thing as bad publicity,” which is almost as good as Oscar Wilde's version, which went: “There's only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

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