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Therapeer - A site I won't recommend for Emotional Support


So I decided to sign up on this site, to see where I can give emotional support to people.

There was this adult female claiming to have been abused as a child...she said she did not want to go to therapy, and wanted to know what is her alternatives.

I told her that she can go on a spiritual journey to resolve her issues, that she can overcome the issues herself if she really wanted to.


I also told her that therapists often times do more harm than good.

I told her I was also a victim of abuse and can relate.

All she was interested in is hearing people telling her what she wanted to hear, she cussed out other abuse survivors who had 10 years more time to heal.

Another user suggested group therapy... I said it would be impossible with people like that, people who like to dissociate instead of healing, people whose peace rely on hearing what other people tell them so they don't have to deal with their own thoughts, people who cuss out survivors of abuse who managed to come to a place where instead of crying over their problems all day, seeking the wrong type of attention to distract them from their problems, some actually learned how to be still and deal with it in a mature way.

Well long story short the little chit decided to report me, and I got banned over this one stupid incident, because of an adolescent who pretended to ask for alternatives for therapy. I wasn't even a member of that site for one week. The admins were obviously very emotionally immature themselves to not be able to see how the reporting was unwarranted.

I was branded as insensitive to people's problems and making a joke of therapy.

If you want to get gaslighted by people who pity themselves every day, all day, go join that site - there is a lot people pretending to be counsellors that distract themselves from their own problems by pretending to know how help others.

That site should be renamed as the "dissociation club" with the slogan: a place where we don't heal, only cry and talk about sitting in therapy.

That site will never see me again, what was supposed to be a helpful open minded community is truly a closed-minded community, with healing on its lowest priority list.
Carissimi · F
You do seem to lack empathy. It’s like you want the person, you are trying to support, do as you suggest they do. That’s not support. Support includes giving suggestions, as well as listening, but those suggestions are options that you should not take personally if dismissed by the other. The fact that you are berating this person now does not make you a supportive person. People going through issues need to go at their own pace, not a pace set by another. Sometimes they are in “mourning mode,” and just need to mourn whatever has beset them. What you did was “tell her” not support her. You said she can resolve the issues herself, if she really wanted to. Maybe she can, but it sounds critical not supportive. I don’t think you have empathy to support anyone.
DianaGyana · 31-35, F
@Ryannnnnn and that is why people like you should not be taken seriously. Goodbye felicia
DianaGyana · 31-35, F
@Ryannnnnn you are a poor judge of character... you will probably get fooled by a sociopath or narcissist one day and you won't notice the red flags until it is too late. I won't say I wish it upon you, but you probably need the experience to wake up regarding the sickness that exists in people
Carissimi · F
Exactly! While a good therapist (or a good friend) does not enable, or condone, poor behavior, mental health and the suffering of such is very much an individual experience, and listening and understanding is not the same as agreeing with someone’s actions or reasoning. One thing a therapist does not do is to criticize. Once you do that, you have lost the person’s trust, and they will never want to share anything with you again. Supporting is NOT judgmental. It’s also NOT enabling. It’s a fine line, and probably why not many are good at it. @Ryannnnnn
Miram · 31-35, F
I recommend you read about active listening. You cannot offer full support to people while taking their reactions personally, or expecting them to follow your advice. Even if they sound frustrated at you, that doesn't mean they don't want to be listened to.

Also, no two abusive experiences are one and the same. Yours and hers are not the same. It's normal for others to differ with you regarding the pace of their healing and the journey. It's alright if they need to vent about it, without actively opting for solutions, just like you needed to vent here.

Dissociation , in the psychological sense, is not something people choose to do. Perhaps you mean something else.
Miram · 31-35, F
@DianaGyana

Most people here know my character. They know who I am , my truth and my strength.

You may wish to dig deeper in my profile just to avoid feeling so invalidated by my criticism. Anything but facing yourself I suppose, 'new' member.
DianaGyana · 31-35, F
@Miram being a simp to sociopaths shows a lack of strength and character. Any how, I am not interested in being your friend, go troll someone who cannot see through your simpish lifestyle.
Miram · 31-35, F
@DianaGyana more gibberish 😴
SW-User
Like to dissociate?
It's not a choice.
DianaGyana · 31-35, F
@Miram you are so smart...here is some claps for you of me not giving a f*ck about it too. Now bugger off sociopath simp!🤣
Miram · 31-35, F
@DianaGyana

When you're over the fact that I criticized you, I hope you will try to understand the words you picked and why you're wrong. There are more important things than your ego and getting kicked out of a website.
DianaGyana · 31-35, F
@Miram this not about my ego but yours and your love for sociopaths and trying to make excuses for all types of abusers. Please bugger off already.
SW-User
I was abused too for two years , advice can be taken any way , different people see things differently , some get offended , some get upset , whilst some accept and appreciate it , when I was being abused and I opened up to someone about it i liked it when they listened and didn’t say much but when they did say stuff I felt at ease more than giving loads of advice out As that can be taken as lecturing for some people, sometimes it’s better to listen more as well as give some advice. It takes a while to trust too , I only opened up to that one person and one online and friends that’s it. When others started getting involved I got angry and I didn’t want them to help me because I felt like they was trying to cause me problems. It taken me months before I even opened to the social worker about my issues , because she reacted I didn’t talk to anyone else after that. And it’s hard to accept advice even when someone asks for it , it takes a while for a lot of people to get the confidence to try what you suggested , healing is a long process and I’m still in recovery myself 💕
DianaGyana · 31-35, F
@SW-User good comment ... healing without introspection is not healing...but distraction.
Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M
There's unfortunately a lot of toxic people like that who choose to fester in those places rather than move on. The types who just want attention and to wallow in their own negativity out of choice. I say that as somebody whos experienced all of that and did for a long time, so I know the difference and I've also lived with somebody like that irl.

As for the "online therapists" you're likely right about a lot of them, most of them aren't therapists anyway and when you have moderators you tend to be at the subjective mercy of people who like having that power or want to impress people who don't like you so they can feel important (happens with nearly all sites tbh).
DianaGyana · 31-35, F
@Ryannnnnn can you believe it they wanted me to be an admin, told me to bring an application for admin, a day after I got banned.. wow
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DianaGyana · 31-35, F
@seeandhear you also cannot appeal the ban process, you get named called in the farewell email, and ended with "Thank You For using Therapeer" huh? How is that for insensitive?
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ABCDEF7 · M
You are right, they need to think outside their issues/problems. Spritual path can be better, but without a proper guidance they have possibility to again start thinking about their issues. Using guided Neuro-Linguistic Programming techniques can also be beneficial.

Have you tried?
http://www.depression-chat-rooms.org/live-depression-chatrooms/
DianaGyana · 31-35, F

Looking for bad reviews of the site and its members...

the site can be explained as online high school drama and cliques &
the best one - a bunch of narcissistic people who cannot deal with reality!

Spot on!
This place isnt much different I suppose...
Wow. That sounds like a real nightmare. Sorry you went through that, and thanks for the heads up. Clearly a site to avoid. 😒
DianaGyana · 31-35, F
@bijouxbroussard yes, don't click on facebook adds that lead you to weird sites😱
Revamped · 18-21, F
You write beautifully

 
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