Why is it so hard to change your life?
I see so many people on here who complain about their life but do not try to change anything. It is you who can make turn things around.. Free yourself of a endless circle.
41-45, M
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Fernie · F
A lot of folks don't get that they are the creators of their lives, the good and the bad...every second. Some blame luck or claim that "life is unfair" to them...as if life were a thinking organism deciding who's gonna get what. A complete lack of personal responsibility and also, even the most unpleasant situations are hard to leave/change because it's so familiar. Humans....so confused
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Fernie I think though life IS sometimes unfair, to some. I grew up in SEVERE , constant abuse... I didn't choose it, and it went on until my early 20's. I began to get PTSD around 24. Certain normal things that others do are difficult for me- hypervigilance is a part of my life, and I'm working hard at eradicating it, but it is HARD. 😟
Fernie · F
@Coralmist I get that. I was beaten daily by my monster mother and no one would help me. I also developed PTSD... these are extreme examples of a very difficult childhood. Even without that level of misery...to say life is unfair does not make sense to me. It's the luck of the draw. At some point we either take responsibility for our happiness and misery...or we continue to blame life and there will be no personal growth...we remain in that dark place we came from. Happiness is a choice...misery is as well.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Fernie I don't 'fully' agree misery is a choice. I am still in the throes of trying to get 'completely' out of my mother's rage/abuse etc. When a psychopath utterly brainwashes you, since the age of 1, to make you think you are Bad , dumb, and don't 'really' deserve to Exist , the trauma does not allow for a clear cut, wonderful choice to now be happy, full, whole etc. I am trying to choose joy in my life, and yet it is still evasive b/c my MIND is saying you do not deserve joy. and 'who do you think you are?' (that was something she'd yell at me So many times, over the smallest infraction, or nothing at all). I'm learning now, at 37, I May actually deserve joy or love. Yet the subconscious which is based in fear , says to myself "she's right somehow- and you would be selfish to choose or have, happiness." It is really really hard, and my last therapist just nodded at me most days, barely offering anything.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Fernie I guess I don't mean am I capable of happiness, I said I don't believe I am 'worth' it, and I don't believe I have a 'right' to it. Extensive, horrific trauma and sadistic abuse, will cause one to feel they do not have a RIGHT to choice, if you don't even have an IDENTITY, how can 'I' choose? (when I feel there IS no 'I' ) ??? That is what I was saying...