Why is it so hard to change your life?
I see so many people on here who complain about their life but do not try to change anything. It is you who can make turn things around.. Free yourself of a endless circle.
41-45, M
Fernie · F
A lot of folks don't get that they are the creators of their lives, the good and the bad...every second. Some blame luck or claim that "life is unfair" to them...as if life were a thinking organism deciding who's gonna get what. A complete lack of personal responsibility and also, even the most unpleasant situations are hard to leave/change because it's so familiar. Humans....so confused
View 2 more replies »
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Fernie I don't 'fully' agree misery is a choice. I am still in the throes of trying to get 'completely' out of my mother's rage/abuse etc. When a psychopath utterly brainwashes you, since the age of 1, to make you think you are Bad , dumb, and don't 'really' deserve to Exist , the trauma does not allow for a clear cut, wonderful choice to now be happy, full, whole etc. I am trying to choose joy in my life, and yet it is still evasive b/c my MIND is saying you do not deserve joy. and 'who do you think you are?' (that was something she'd yell at me So many times, over the smallest infraction, or nothing at all). I'm learning now, at 37, I May actually deserve joy or love. Yet the subconscious which is based in fear , says to myself "she's right somehow- and you would be selfish to choose or have, happiness." It is really really hard, and my last therapist just nodded at me most days, barely offering anything.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Fernie I guess I don't mean am I capable of happiness, I said I don't believe I am 'worth' it, and I don't believe I have a 'right' to it. Extensive, horrific trauma and sadistic abuse, will cause one to feel they do not have a RIGHT to choice, if you don't even have an IDENTITY, how can 'I' choose? (when I feel there IS no 'I' ) ??? That is what I was saying...
rckt148 · 61-69, M
They don't get they are the blessed ones
Never woke up unable to walk one more day .
lost it all trying to pay bills and medical bills and the wife just can't handle it no more ,,
non stops collection calls and all you can do is watch her cry
They never tried to work with 100 stitch's in their back and 25 staples outside trying to lay hardwood flooring 9 days after surgery because you don't want to lose everything you worked so hard for ,but you lose it all anyway and end up homeless
this is where most quit
This was my second time starting over ,this was my 2nd wife that left me ..
The last time I put everything I had in my $500,00 escort
and headed back to Florida ,to a town no one wanted me there
I had found my kids my ex wife hid from me for 12 years
Little did I know in 5 months I would have full custody of 2 of my 3 girls and be a single Dad trying to raise teen age daughters ,,alone ,,and everyone hating me for winning my custody case ,and I am disabled ,,but I washed 30 cars a day
my kids had to eat ,have somewhere to live .
24 yrs later looking back loosing it all was the best thing that ever happened to me ,,,
my kids completed me and made me want to be the best Dad on the planet ,set a better example for them ,be a better man for myself
I only got custody of 2 because my oldest turned 18 and I was about to have to let her go again as I sent her off to college
They don't know ,,they are to busy saying
"You don't know what I've been through " to take any advice ,
and they ain't been through crap ,and then some wanna be councilor got to add "We all handle pain differently
Pain is Pain !!! you are no different then anyone else
only your perception is ,,some are willing to handle it
others want to quit ,,Pain is Pain ,,we all hurt
They think they are the only ones who have ever been through some stuff
When in reality ,today its hard to find someone that hasn't been through some stuff
Only in my day no one was there to pamper you ,,all you got was
"Better get your ass up boy ,life is hard ,ain't no one gonna carry you" ,,,,we need a little more of that today and a lot less "I feel your pain " and no solutions
Only quitters give up ,,ain't no one gonna carry you
Sometimes real love ,has got to be tough ,and tell you things you don't want to hear ,,,but its truth
Never woke up unable to walk one more day .
lost it all trying to pay bills and medical bills and the wife just can't handle it no more ,,
non stops collection calls and all you can do is watch her cry
They never tried to work with 100 stitch's in their back and 25 staples outside trying to lay hardwood flooring 9 days after surgery because you don't want to lose everything you worked so hard for ,but you lose it all anyway and end up homeless
this is where most quit
This was my second time starting over ,this was my 2nd wife that left me ..
The last time I put everything I had in my $500,00 escort
and headed back to Florida ,to a town no one wanted me there
I had found my kids my ex wife hid from me for 12 years
Little did I know in 5 months I would have full custody of 2 of my 3 girls and be a single Dad trying to raise teen age daughters ,,alone ,,and everyone hating me for winning my custody case ,and I am disabled ,,but I washed 30 cars a day
my kids had to eat ,have somewhere to live .
24 yrs later looking back loosing it all was the best thing that ever happened to me ,,,
my kids completed me and made me want to be the best Dad on the planet ,set a better example for them ,be a better man for myself
I only got custody of 2 because my oldest turned 18 and I was about to have to let her go again as I sent her off to college
They don't know ,,they are to busy saying
"You don't know what I've been through " to take any advice ,
and they ain't been through crap ,and then some wanna be councilor got to add "We all handle pain differently
Pain is Pain !!! you are no different then anyone else
only your perception is ,,some are willing to handle it
others want to quit ,,Pain is Pain ,,we all hurt
They think they are the only ones who have ever been through some stuff
When in reality ,today its hard to find someone that hasn't been through some stuff
Only in my day no one was there to pamper you ,,all you got was
"Better get your ass up boy ,life is hard ,ain't no one gonna carry you" ,,,,we need a little more of that today and a lot less "I feel your pain " and no solutions
Only quitters give up ,,ain't no one gonna carry you
Sometimes real love ,has got to be tough ,and tell you things you don't want to hear ,,,but its truth
SW-User
Maybe before making generalising assumptions everyone has their own story.