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Why is it so hard to make friends?

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gmatthewb · 51-55, M
I believe it isn't hard to make friends, I think it is hard to find the right friends. Can take a while before you find people who will put in the time and effort to be a friend.
SW-User
It doesn't exist. People are slaves to their emotions, they just can't stand anything that goes against their personal belief and self-interest. So, looking for something that doesn't exist, would only lead to annoyance and depression. It may find you sometimes, but then you'd lose it under certain circumstances as nothing is permanent. You have to do the journey of life alone, live collectively, or at least pretend. That's the gist of survival in the modern world.
SW-User
@maybesomeday People are too much self-absorbed. You'd lose your individualism if you want to be fit in. They will only like you if you are their way. There's nothing like your type of people. No two person are equal, our finger prints and genetic code differs, so there's no way to find similarities in others. There's no perfect-partner concept. The idea is to reconcile with differences, and compromise on certain things, be tolerant and help each other get better, but it has to work from both ends, which is close to non-existent in this world we live in. If that happens, then you are lucky, till then its just hit and miss the game. I have played that a lot, and I'm sick of it now. I really don't need a second person now. I have had amazing girls in my life, but then life's situations couldn't keep up together. We still cherish the moments we lived. Nothing is forever, so making peace with ourselves is the first step to make peace with others. I'm working on it.
maybesomeday · 31-35, F
@SW-User I've never wanted to fit in, and even if I tried I would fail miserably at it anyway. But I always had some hope that it was possible to meet like-minded people, people who were after a meaningful and long-lasting connection. Unfortunately, that's not been the case. And when I realised this, I tried to befriend people who weren't entirely similar to me, thinking that's maybe what was best. But still failed to meet anyone after the same things in the end. I probably take things too seriously, and think that there would be someone out there who would as well, but I suppose there isn't. So yes, maybe I just need to accept that all I have is myself and if I can come to terms with that, maybe then I won't feel this strong desire to keep trying to find friends to travel through life with. I'll travel alone.
SW-User
@maybesomeday Your heart is in the right place, and you are a thinking person, that's why you know the difference between right and wrong. Trust me, I'm the same way, and people like us go through some horrible internal struggle, but there will be a lot of peace in between those struggles. You won't end up being miserable. When the whole world goes drinking on Friday evening, I lift weights. Yes, I'm boring, but when they ask me the reason for my 6 pack and healthy body and happy mind, my answer doesn't convince them, because they are too much obsessed with the easy things that they consider as fun. This is a rock-bottom stupid era we are living in where most of them are into instant gratification and don't want to work on anything at all.
sogdianrock · 61-69, M
hi maybesomeday
Friendship can be fleeting or lifelong. The key feature of it is mutual happiness. A friend must make you feel happier than you would otherwise be and you must make them feel happier than they would otherwise be. If you both cross this threshold then you are friends. Of course you may also make each other unhappy. This paradox is called Love.
Best wishes
:)
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SW-User
Like minded people
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SW-User
What I did when I was your age..I changed my place n travelled
SW-User
I wonder the same thing. I think people are less interested these days. They either want a relationship or nothing.
maybesomeday · 31-35, F
@SW-User Seems most people just want something temporary or superficial.
SW-User
@maybesomeday Yes, that's been my experience
plungesponge · 41-45, M
Modern society is built to empower corporations and prevent communities
SW-User
because people are self absorbed.. you have to fit in xyz and most of the time you are going to be used and discarded.
beepbopbeep · 31-35, F
It's not easy to trust
Jasonb · 36-40, M
Because at the end of the day, you know they will only care to a certain point...
celine211 · 22-25, F
@Jasonb Mhm i agree with that even with relationships
coz you haven't befriended yourself for the beginnings.
SW-User
Why do you need friends..
maybesomeday · 31-35, F
@SW-User I thought I didn't need any, but I've got this pesky heart inside me that just wants to be accepted by someone who I can have a strong friendship with. My brain knows it's impossible, but my heart won't give up.
SW-User
You don't need anyone to be happy.. enjoy life and talk to everyone who you meet. I don't look for friends and so many people wana b with me. It's how this Universe function. Have some hobbies and enjoy them, people will join you.
Invisible · 26-30, M
Because people are stupid
maybesomeday · 31-35, F
@Invisible True that. People are stupid, it's no wonder I prefer animals to humans.

 
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