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Urgent advice needed....I caught an STI from the toilet seat, I am not sure my wife will believe me...

My Sister in law and my mother in law have caught it from the same seat...I am in such a pickle, advice please.
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SW-User
Cut your dick off and take one large cup of arsenic, should sort the problem out
AndysAttic · 56-60, M
@SW-User Thanks, I will give it a go.
@SW-User don’t forget to clean your hands with hand sanitizer