Is it rude to register for wedding gifts if you aren't having a reception?

I'm going to a friend's wedding and they've opted out of a reception. They have however decided to register for gifts. It's also not the first time they've been married.

I have my thoughts on this, but curious about what others think.

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NCCindy · 36-40, F

One side of me has always felt that registering for wedding gifts in general was a bit classless.

On the other hand, there's something to be said for telling people what you'd like to receive rather than ending up with things you never use, or return !!!

Neoerectus · M

Sounds like panhandling... dont help us celebrate, but gimme. You have a choice not to do so, however.

exexec · 61-69, C

I don't think the lack of a reception is a problem. They can be expensive. In my experience, registering for gifts for a second (or more) marriage is a bit much.

Neoerectus · M

@exexec Our reception was simply an after party at the house. Simple but fun.

exexec · 61-69, C

@Neoerectus Ours was punch and cookies in the Baptist Church reception area.

JustNik · 51-55, F

This probably sounds snarkier than I mean it, but is it rude to think a couple needs to pay you back for a gift by throwing you a party? Is it possible they registered because some folks had expressed a desire to get them a gift and asked what they would like? If it were my friend, I’d want to get them a little something even if it were marriage number five. lol Lots of people do things we ourselves might not choose to do, for reasons we might not know or understand, but to me, that doesn’t necessarily make it rude, particularly when you’re not actually obligated to do anything more than you feel appropriate. 🤷‍♀️

Prttylttlthng · 46-50, F

@JustNik I see your point, and my thought (again only my opinion) in that sense is if you can’t afford it, then don’t have a large wedding. Get married in a small ceremony and invite close friends and families. Then do an announcement and whomever can send gifts. Don’t make all of us sit through a ceremony in the middle of the day. I probably sound snarkier than intended as well :).

Prttylttlthng · 46-50, F

For the most part, I don't have an issue with registries themselves, but feel like it's very rude to ask for gifts when you don't offer a reception, dinner, etc for the guests. Personally, being divorced and a middle-aged woman, I wouldn't dream of registering for gifts if I were to re-marry but was curious of others thoughts.

GeniUs · 56-60, M

@Prttylttlthng If they have very little it would be nice to help them out, this does usually apply to people just starting out in life together however it could be a middle aged or elderly couple who don't have much due to unfortunate circumstances. If one or other of them is an alcoholic or gambler etc it's probably better not to give anything.

Mindful · 56-60, F

I think if my friends and I are close, I would love to gift them something they would like. But if we are not close I would not gift them anything at all. Reception or not. If you share friends you could pitch in for a gift and sign the card together.

plungesponge · 41-45, M

Time to regift lol

bijouxbroussard · F

A bit grabby, yes. You’re never obligated, but if you you’re just going to the actual wedding, I would go with a less expensive gift.
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