The worst thing to say is “ I know what you’re going through “

I find there is no real "helpful" words... people are at a loss of what to say and I think it's still better than nothing at all. Add a heart felt hug and people still get the idea you care... and some know you really do know what they are going through.

I've heard far worse things, myself. Although it's true that no one really knows
[i]exactly[/i] what someone else is going through as far the emotions they're feeling, many times can people genuinely empathize with what someone else is "going through".

It is, but sometimes one [b]does[/b] know, or at least has been through something similar.

Some people do know

Technically, yes, nobody knows what anyone else is going through. Most people use that phrase to mean "I've been through something similar", in order to let the other person know they can relate. I don't usually take offense at it, for that reason.

We don't and you are right, but some can be sympathetic.

It's debatable isn't it.. as each person is going to see it differently..

We are told that most empathic is .. "me too, you are not alone" but to me, that seems very much like 'I know what you are going through' and as someone else said, we can't really know..

Apparently, I am so sorry you are going through that - is deemed insulting because it seems like we are feeling sorry for them'

Apparently, "I can't imagine what you are going through right now" is also considered a no no as it makes them feel alone and again that we feel pity for them..

So really, I am betting it's pretty much impossible to get it right most of the time.. that's probably why some people avoid saying anything..
[b][/b]

Sometimes people mean the best & other times they wanna politely shut you down so they don't have to deal with feelings

I think you are correct , we say it to console but how can we really know how it feels to them

even if you have been in the same situation - we DON'T know how the other person feels

Unless you are a tunnelling expert

I know what you mean.

Not a helpful thing to say. If you have empathy because of a similar experience it will eventually become obvious.

Listening is one of the most supportive things you can offer.

I have a hospice patient and he was having seizures. His daughter was crying and we were hugging and I told her "I am here with you". She knew I was being sincere.

You need to listen for the meaning, the empathy and sympathy. Not just the words.