Does anybody know what this is?

Fashion coordinated stun gun that you hang on the outside of your white Armani skirt.

Fire rod magnesium stick/bottle/can opener?

It's a portable bottle opener...the bottom bit pulls out to give more purchase as you lever the bottle top off...(it can also be used to lever off a bikini bottom!!!)

Well back in the day we called either "a crank" or "a church key" or "a bottle opener".

anything can be sex toy if u get creative right?

Pocket pen with bottle opener

Bottle opener ?
With a stopper ?

Umbrella handle. broken of course.

Dildo for very small dwarves

Fire starter

Magnesium rod

I been looking for that.

Window part for blinds

A thingamajig.

I am clueless

Nope

No idea...

Looks like a door lock