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Why No More Monkeys Evolved Into Humans

Once upon a time in a dense jungle, a group of monkeys were hanging out on a tree, munching bananas and watching humans argue about taxes, deadlines, and whether pineapple belongs on pizza.

One curious little monkey asked the elder, “Grandpa, didn’t you say humans evolved from monkeys? So why aren’t we evolving too?”

The old monkey chuckled and replied, “We were next in line… but then we saw humans stuck in traffic, working 9 to 5, and paying bills just to afford overpriced coffee. We had a meeting. Bananas were passed around. And we voted unanimously to stay monkeys.”

From that day on, evolution got a polite “no thanks” from the jungle committee. They figured tree-swinging, sunbathing, and free fruit were way better than office chairs and spreadsheets.

And that, kids, is why monkeys stopped evolving into humans
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Gibbon · 70-79, M
I'm late to the show again because of the feed.
I'm here to attest for me and all my relatives this is the absolute truth.
Take a look at what you've become. And your politics oh good Lord why would we want any part of that? Give me bananas and a cozy tree and life is fine. We don't mind your visits and entertaining you. Just remember we will throw our poop at you if you get out of hand.
Renkon · M
@Gibbon That's awesome
Gibbon · 70-79, M
@Renkon Well all things considered my character was born to SW for such posts and anything that can involve bananas. Just keep my out of politics. I turn human and become an outrageous ahole. I'm trying to back off but the last four years brought me to a mindset I never wanted to experience.