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One day, Jill's husband came home from the office and found her sobbing convulsively.
"I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."
"Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I bought an extra pair of pants for that suit."
"Yes, and it's lucky for you that you did," said Jill, drying her eyes. "I used them to patch the hole."

Two friends were walking down the road and the first one said, "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other friend covers one of their eyes and says, "Where?"

A person decided to redecorate their bedroom. They weren't sure how many rolls of wallpaper they would need, but they knew that their friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.
"Buffy," they said, "How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"
"Ten," said Buffy.
So the person bought ten rolls of paper and did the job, but they had 2 rolls leftover. "Buffy," they said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!"
"Yes," said Buffy. "So did I."

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