Notes left for the milkman

[b] Dear milkman...

I've just had a baby, please leave another one.

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.

Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.

When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street . If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk.

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.

When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

[/b]

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SatyrService · M

I came in at the end of this era. It was every kids effort, to see if they could duplicate their parents handwriting into leaving 2 quarts of chocolate. And then there are those very bad children would pull the cap off drink the sweet cream and then pull of water in it, to make it look like it was more

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@SatyrService I think some people still have doorstep deliveries but it is rare now. Apart from the destructive onslaught of the supermarkets on all suppliers and independent shops, there was the ever-present risk of milk being stolen from doorsteps; and it has happened to me.

Some local shops, cafes, etc buy their milk from a dairy farm only a few miles away; but sadly some of those have stopped, as they are franchises (Central and another I forget) whose remote head offices decided to act like the Co-Op, Tesco etc. in refusing to support local suppliers.

That takes some doing, removing a milk-bottle top and replacing it intact, if that's what those naughty children tried. All ours had foil caps but I recall our grandma buying milk delivered in crown-capped bottles. I think that was sterilised rather than pasteurised, giving it a flavour somewhat like evaporated milk.

Drinking-chocolate though... I have never seen that available from the milkman. Perhaps it was a speciality of some companies, but not all. some started adding fruit-juices to their range.

I shared a house for a while before eventually starting to buy my own place. One of the other rooms was used by a student attending a nearby college, and his friends would often visit him. They were no trouble normally but then I discovered they had helped themselves to my cake and milk in the communal kitchen.

The cheeky but clearly not very bright blighters had not only replaced the empty cake box in the cupboard, they had also diluted the remaining bit of milk in the bottle with water!

SatyrService · M

@ArishMell I must say, that I’m really enjoying our conversations. Your thoughtful and detailed observant quite Evocative

You might be pleased to know, that over here on the left side of the pond. People are actually getting whole milk delivered to their homes again. It seems much like the farmers market movement is more effective for local producers to sell to local consumers. Do we pay a bit more? Yes but I like it. And the fact that there are indeed proper chocolatiers in a town where I live

ArishMell · 70-79, M

@SatyrService Thankyou very much!

Something that has appeared here is some farms selling pasteurised milk directly, sometimes in refillable bottles from vending machines in their own farm shops or in local independent food shops. Our local dairy sells milk in single-use plastic bottles in its own and other shops; but also via a vending-machine using refillable glass, in the local bakery from whom I also buy most of my bread and cakes.

The only drawback I found is that it is not easy to clean the empty bottle enough to stop it turning the next fill sour too early. Then they started to sell it in half-litre as well as the original one-litre bottles, and this is more manageable as I empty the bottle more rapidly.

PoetryNEmotion · F

These are great! Do milkmen still exist? I faintly remember one coming to our home in the city when I was a child. We had a milk box even. If you had long arms, you could put your arm through it and unlock the side door even. Handy if you were locked out. A good posting. Thank you for sharing.

Sweetthing · F

What an interesting list and glimpse into people’s lives

Anielka · F

I remember hearing this is where the term milkman's baby came from.

ArishMell · 70-79, M

Sure it's milk not gin, involved?

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