Title too short and all that....😂🤣The Jokes thread(Collections)

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Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
I'm terrified of elevators so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
Have you heard of the band 923 Megabytes? Probably not, they haven't had a gig yet.

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TheSirfurryanimalWales · 61-69, M

The European Union is proposing to build a public toilet in Brussels.
They put the job out to tender. They get in 3 responses.
First in is Hans from Germany. He gets straight to the point. "I'll build it for €30,000."
The Eurocrat behind the desk looks up from his note pad. "Can you give us some more detail, Hans?"
"Ja! €10,000 labour, €10,000 materials, €10,000 profit for my company! - This is what free enterprise is about, ja?"
Next in is Jean from France.
Dragging deeply on his crinkled Galoise, he pauses, shrugs, and finally says, staring out the window, "Alors, €60,000: €20,000 travail, €20,000 materiel, €20,000 pour moi". The French never concede an inch on the mother tongue, even in an English-language joke.
Last in is O'Shaughnessy from an un-stereotyped unspecified EU Member State. "€90,000, the job is done and we're all grand".
The Eurocrat peers skeptically over his bifocals. "Mr O'Shaughnessy, surely you realise that this price is ... unusual?"
"Yerra no bother, lad: 30 for you, 30 for me and we give the job to Hans!"😎

Thinkerbell · 41-45, F

@TheSirfurryanimalWales

O'Shaughnessy must have been Mayor Curley of Boston, or Mayor Daley of Chicago in a previous life... 🤫