That woman was actually quite toxic when she acted as though shocked - although maybe she came from a community of Italians, Greeks, Muslims or some other culture that normally has tightly knit clans of relatives.
It's not at all unusual in the West for families to be nuclear units and not be in touch with their extended networks of relatives. If there is someone who tries to keep in touch, it's more likely to be a mother or grandmother.
I think your colleague was miffed at not getting her way and her real motive was push or shame you into doing something you weren't ready to commit to.
And I say "good on you" for sticking to your stand; that's having good boundaries. It's definitely not dysfunctional.
Being "normal" is a myth.
Norms are almost abstract - whatever clusters most at the centre of a bell curve in statistics. Most people who are average in a few traits are excellent or poor in lots of others; no two are the same.
Fitting in is partly a matter of skills:
good active listening,
empathy,
curiosity about others - balanced by noticing & respecting their boundaries,
the art of asking questions that people enjoy answering,
keeping your own answers and comments short - 25 to 150 words max,
willingness to share opinions and not take offence if others disagree,
and
knowing what others say about you reflects more about them than you.
These skills are learnable. It's easy to look them up online.
One good starting place is blogs by experts on almost any topic you like in
Psychology Today.
It's okay to be one's authentic self.
Actually it's preferable.
People sense it and like that feeling of being around someone who really is just as they appear.
As for finding a life partner and starting a family, age 26-30 is not a bad time to start. You're still young enough to have your first baby without too much difficulty and your genes are still fresh enough that the risks of physical abnormalities are still very low.
The fact that the others around you settled down early is no proof that they are more functional.
According to the national stats in every Western country, 2/3s of those couples will be divorced before they're 40. Of those who remarry, 9 out of 10 will divorce again.
But then divorce is not necessarily a sign of failure either. Depending on the nature of the relationship, it can be the most sensible thing a couple can do.
In general, people who marry a little older are a bit more mature, a bit better off materially, and more likely to make better partner choices, i.e. someone with similar values, lifestyle preferences and goals - not just someone they fall madly in love with.
