I Want Someone I Can Tell Anything To

I had someone who held almost all my truth once. It didn't work out. I was too scared to make the changes I needed to for it to continue. It's been 6 years now and my brokenness from losing her has passed. I suppose I will always love her - she was just that special to me. I have said a thousand times I stayed to be with my son - so he wouldn't grow up with a stepfather like mine. I honestly don't know if I was too scared to leave or if I stayed for him but either way I lost the person who I came the closest to being 100% honest with. It's hard to have to be partially guarded with everyone. I suppose if I wasn't slightly corrupt in little twisted ways I would not have to be so guarded. I am unwilling or unable to be totally straight and narrow in all aspects of my life. I am told I have "squirelly morals". I am not sure about that. I imagine most everyone bends the rules in some ways in their life. I imagine being squeaky clean - so I could share everything. I just haven't been able to do it. So, I will remain secretive in little ways.