We really must remember .... .....what a person here chooses to share with us in DMs is NOT...

DrWatson · 70-79, M

Very well said.

Even before the internet was created, much of what you say applied to our interactions with others in life.

But the internet intensified all of this -- both in our ability to "control" what we broadcast about ourselves to others, and in our ability to interact "deeply" with so many people at once.

Thank you for these reminders. We all need to hear them from time to time.

And yes, it can be pretty crushing when this happens.

I do think of you as a kind, friendly person with a sense of humor. I also think of you as someone who carries some sadness within you, and yet you can also enjoy the positive things in life.

As for "daft".....I'll simply point out that that is a very British word which is not in an American's active vocabulary, and I'll leave it at that! 😄

OlderSometimesWiser · F

Wise words Ruby. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience. Given how difficult it can sometimes be to know a person offline, knowing a person online presents an even greater challenge and must be handled with caution.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

It's hard to know from words what someone is like,only consistent patterns of behavior and deeds can give us the real picture.
Even then we may not really know another's motivation.
I cut my teeth on EP, as far as social media is concerned.
Painful lessons,but valuable,none the less .
Being cautious is good advice.

JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M

Sorry if you had been abused on here.

I will always be good and true. Of course, there is a buffer I project to protect myself against having my disclosures on here spill over into the real, offline world, and invite fraud.

I only open up in private with people I have trusted for years.

What troubles me more is when these people suddenly vanish without a trace. It has made me stand back a little more, not get in too deep, so I can extract myself and recover more easily.

I wander through life, on here and off here, alone, and have to be able to persist alone. Any connections with other people are limited and transitory, to protect my sanity.

Maybe someday I will connect better with people offline, real people I can see and hear, where I can knock on their door. Even if they refuse to answer at least maybe they could tell me why, face to face, before I wander off.

On here it is as if they died suddenly. No chance to say goodbye.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

Been saying for decades, that trust takes time.

Yet just as important is communication.

You can't trust any that will not communicate, once given the opportunity.

Far too many won't break that communication barrier, even over time.

It's not a matter of not showing one side or the other. It's more a matter of showing anything at all. All take, rather than any give.

Only three people have known my first real name on here. Because only three people have shared their real first name or other personal things. I'm talking over eight years.

If any question about my own openness. I will direct them to about me and first featured post.

There's so much there, that many refuse to read. Much less question.

Yet the opposite fails the test, over eight years of time.

When in doubt question, as well as give. Eventually over years you are bound to know the others.

smiler2012 · 61-69

@RubySoo 🤔yes trust is a big thing though we have aneminity and are talking to strangers still what you tell people about yourself ,giving them personal details about yourself i would be cautious on that score and tell them the bare minimum of what you think they need too know

4meAndyou · F

I am so sorry that happened to you. I think we ALL should remember that no matter how happy and comfortable we may feel, this is STILL the internet.

🤗🤗🤗💛💛💛

OldBrit · 61-69, M

I know that I do trust you as a good caring friend and grateful I came across you on here.

SmileOnYourBrother

I rarely PM. IF I do, I already trust them...to a point...but not to the point of being upset if they turn out to be not who they say. I don't let anyone close enough to manipulate me.

Miram · 31-35, F

I can't remember all of this ,Ruby. And neither can the rest of SWers. You are expecting too much from the diaper community.

Jokes aside, agreed.

SteveTomms · 56-60, M

Well said Ruby, thank goodness I can trust you! xx

GunFinger · F

Thank you for saying this, Ruby.🤗🌸

Dusty101 · F

Very well said Rubes. And it hurts when they lie, I've learned my lesson not to trust too quick, or to trust at all. I've made so many stupid mistakes with trust.

powernap · 56-60, M

This is so comforting. I wish it had been posted yesterday morning. I had something happen on here yesterday that almost destroyed me.

YourMomsSecretCrush · M

this might be the best post i have read in quite a while. thank you.

SomeMichGuy · M

ugh Sorry for what has happened