Making new friends at church?

It's no problem if you have friends you grew up with in your hometown and you never left. Living in your hometown can crush your soul.

But you move away. Your mom tells you, "Find a good church. You'll find lifetime friends there."

The opportunity cost: you have to march in step. Take upon yourself a certain system of beliefs.

Contemporary Christian singer Michael W Smith sang, "...friends are friends forever if the Lord is Lord of them." If your understanding of God evolves differently from their understanding of God, the deal is off. You lose your friends if you change your religion.

Don't make those kind of friends.

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powernap · 56-60, M

First of all, I don't put much stock in Michael W. Smith. If you like him, fine, but personally, I think he's overrated. The song is called "Friends," and the lines are kind of catchy. Back in the early 80's, he and Amy Grant were the talk of the town, musically. They got married and then divorced, for whatever reason, and that made headlines as well.

Love (unconditional) is one of the signs of s true believer. If you go to any church and they start saying "you must believe... In order to be considered a part of our family" turn the other direction and run. 1 John chapter 4,verses 7 and 8 say "Beloved, let us love one another ; for love is of God, and he who loves and he who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God; for God is love."

I remember coming across a lady on the web who is quite knowledgeable when it comes to knowing what scriptures have to say about theology and beliefs. She has a sound "checklist" she will go through before committing to a church or pastor. I encourage you to put together a "checklist" of your own. This could include you belief regarding the trinity, baptism in the Holy Spirit, the rapture, etc.

lovelychicadee · 46-50, F

Interesting perspective. I have been told to find friends at church as well. However where I live there are not many people my age who regularly go to church. If too can be a hard place to fit in.

FreddieUK · 70-79, M

I have friends who have moved away from the church we shared for many years. The friendship doesn't stop, but if you spent most of your time together at, or planning church events, there is going to be less contact if one person moves away.

Prisoner1972 · 51-55, M

We could go on with any type of group. Not necessarily religion. Let's say you're in a scuba club. Some physical illness (epilepsy, narcolepsy, etc) stops you from scuba diving. You won't be in the club anymore. And your scuba diving friends will dwindle, unless you have some other common ground.

exexec · 70-79, C

There are plenty of churches out there that don't require a person to "march in step" and actually encourage free thought. I am a bit of a self-confessed heretic, myself.

TheShanachie · 61-69, M

The only friends I make at church are the vampires that come out of the cemetery after dark.

RedBaron · M

Not everyone is Christian.

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