How to make friends as an adult?

To be honest I struggle with making new friends. It’s not that I’m not friendly and approachable. I have to socialize all day for my job. So I feel to tired to do it after work. I have to approach people, ask them deep questions to best be able to help them. So I have to be an extrovert.

But when it comes to not being at work I resort back to my normal nature of being an introvert. Where I don’t want to approach people. When someone from work invites me out I rarely want to go. And yet I sit here wishing I had more friends.

I guess I am just looking for my people. The ones where it feels natural and not a forced effort. So many people are fake now a days. I can’t be bothered pretending to like someone because I have no one. I rather be alone.

As an adult how do you make new friends? Do you find it as difficult as me?

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PunkRockSuperStar · 56-60, M

I've been finding it very difficult to find new friends for a long time. Partly that's been due to my personality; my lack of self-confidence and how difficult I find it to make conversation with strangers. But the alternative avenues I used to have for making friends, such as placing personal ads in music magazines and swapping letters with penfriends, no longer exist. I've found it almost impossible to make friends with people via the internet, and dumbed-down, shambolic social media sites like Facebook are the most useless of all. There's no meaningful communication there.

The only thing that's really worked for me was when I joined a band and played regular gigs. That way, people came and introduced themselves to me, and I didn't have to make the effort to speak to them, feeling like I was an unwanted intruder.