How to make friends as an adult?

To be honest I struggle with making new friends. It’s not that I’m not friendly and approachable. I have to socialize all day for my job. So I feel to tired to do it after work. I have to approach people, ask them deep questions to best be able to help them. So I have to be an extrovert.

But when it comes to not being at work I resort back to my normal nature of being an introvert. Where I don’t want to approach people. When someone from work invites me out I rarely want to go. And yet I sit here wishing I had more friends.

I guess I am just looking for my people. The ones where it feels natural and not a forced effort. So many people are fake now a days. I can’t be bothered pretending to like someone because I have no one. I rather be alone.

As an adult how do you make new friends? Do you find it as difficult as me?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Mudkip · 31-35, M

Mostly on similar interests at this point. I wouldnt say its difficult, I just don't try too often

DayDreamer3 · 36-40, F

@Mudkip so you make friends when you are doing activities that you enjoy?

Mudkip · 31-35, M

@DayDreamer3 yeah, like playing basketball or at a card/game shop.

DayDreamer3 · 36-40, F

@Mudkip k I understand that part but the next part is what trips me up. So do you just say hey do you want to hang out after? Or do you just keep showing up and hope it naturally happens eventually? I feel like the older you get it feels weird to ask someone to hang out as friends. Maybe it’s just me?

Mudkip · 31-35, M

@DayDreamer3 Maybe you think about it too much. When I pick up games at a park I just ask other people if they wanna play the next day or somewhere else.

DayDreamer3 · 36-40, F

@Mudkip you’re probably right. I am overthinking it. I need to be more carefree with it.

Mudkip · 31-35, M

@DayDreamer3 yeah just be carefree about it