How to make friends as an adult?

To be honest I struggle with making new friends. It’s not that I’m not friendly and approachable. I have to socialize all day for my job. So I feel to tired to do it after work. I have to approach people, ask them deep questions to best be able to help them. So I have to be an extrovert.

But when it comes to not being at work I resort back to my normal nature of being an introvert. Where I don’t want to approach people. When someone from work invites me out I rarely want to go. And yet I sit here wishing I had more friends.

I guess I am just looking for my people. The ones where it feels natural and not a forced effort. So many people are fake now a days. I can’t be bothered pretending to like someone because I have no one. I rather be alone.

As an adult how do you make new friends? Do you find it as difficult as me?

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novaguy2u · 70-79, M

I understand at least part of your issue. For many years, thirty or so, I held roles where I was meeting many people each day, working hard to build up relationships for business purposes, and like you I frequently felt drained and reluctant to open up to other people outside of a business environment. What worked for me was joining clubs and getting into activities where I met people with similar interests who weren't looking to judge me. It worked and I made a number of long-term friendships.

DayDreamer3 · 36-40, F

@novaguy2u yes exactly, I feel so drained after work. It’s hard to even want to socialize. But I know it’s healthy to do so and of course I do want more like minded people in my life. That’s a good idea I should join different clubs or events to meet people.

novaguy2u · 70-79, M

@DayDreamer3 Yep, just look at what events/ club meetings are on in your locale and wander in. Some may not interest you, but some may. Our local newspapers and community newspapers always have "what's on" pages. It worked for me.

DayDreamer3 · 36-40, F

@novaguy2u thank you. I’ll do that.