How do you find friends where you have some commonalities?

The more I spend time with my friends, the more I realize we don't have much in common. I met them through a cultural association, which I'm not really part of anymore anyway. All they talk about is religion, dating, Beyonce, therapy, and nails. I find myself so restless and bored when I'm out with them. There's only so much you can say about these topics. They're all successful professionals, so I don't understand how they can have such limited interests outside of work. I just remember other times in my life when I found going out and socializing so much more fun and engaging.

Top | Newest First | Oldest First

BrewCityBarfly · M

I can relate, however, don't have a concrete answer. Sounds like you've drifted in a different direction.

I guess my best advice, is to find some activity or group to join that is more in line with your interests. The tough part is I find as I've gotten older that isn't always easy.

blindbob · 41-45

@BrewCityBarfly I've always taken classes in the community and joined meetups. i just find people tend to be cordial but mostly keep to themselves.

BrewCityBarfly · M

@blindbob That can be true. Maybe it takes some time to build trust. I've gone to places or events, found myself as an outsider (a it were) as a lot of people already know each other. It just takes time. I usually set my expectations low, and understand the convos may not go much beyond safe subjects.

Once I went to a bowling event, and didn't know anyone. I bowled, didn't connect much with anyone, and then took seat at the bar (my comfort zone for better or worse). In about 1/2 hour I was having some nice convos with some of the people there. I was really looking forward to the next event, then Covid happened.

At an event this year (car show), I was really hoping I'd might meet a few folks. As it turned out the event was smaller than I thought. People were nice, but the event was pretty clique and I'm not much of an extrovert. I left early and pretty much blame myself for setting expectations too high and not engaging some of the car owners.

Starcrossed · 41-45, F

Lmao I read 'Beyonce Therapy' as one thing 😆

Seriously though sounds like you've outgrown then or they were never a great fit to begin with. No advice, I know finding good meaningful friendships in adulthood doesn't always come easy.

blindbob · 41-45

@Starcrossed I think it is some form of therapy for some of them, or maybe a form of groupthink.

BritishFailedAesthetic · M

All they talk about is religion, dating, Beyonce, therapy, and nails.

Add a comment...