I don't think it matters what I put here

I've been feeling love for myself for several weeks now and it hasn't stopped feeling incredibly strange. It feels good but I spent so many years with the opposite view of myself that the change is almost uncomfortable. I told a friend about it and while she was happy for me she also said that she liked seeing this new "buoyed" side of me, which I have to say that I do as well. I still feel like I need a woman to love me to be "complete", but that's something that's been around even longer than not loving myself, and feels more like wanting someone complementary to me rather than someone to fulfill me, if that makes sense. I guess she had more of an impact on me than I knew, since that's what our relationship was like (complementary, not consuming) But as ever my mind is a mess of disordered thoughts, although none of them seem to be harmful now, so if this post is a jumbled mess that's why.