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Do you ever find yourself a part of a group and come to terms with the fact that they're just acquaintances and not your friends?

It's sad at first, then freeing. Then it's like you want to cut them off like a dried branch. But it still has flowers (aka memories/connection) so you find yourself in a dilemma.

To cut off fully or to just cut partly and save the parts salvageable (even if it is just for show)?

One of the best and wisest advices someone in SW said to me was that humans spend most of their time on people who are really just acquaintances and not their friends without realizing it.

I had long realized it is true. But only recently did I start to accept it fully.
I understand now.

It is indeed freeing. Letting go is a part of life. I want to make and start my own table with just selected friends who are handpicked by yours truly :) That is my goal now.

I want to be around people who value me and what and who I care about the same way I value myself or close to that or more.
To accept nothing less and be part of nothing less.
Dethmoore · 31-35, M
I was in a program where I met a group of people. I’m of different race to them. At first, I thought we could be friends. We talked in a friendly way. We even created a group chat to talk about classes since we took the same classes being in the same program and all. I later realized that I was left out of group projects and in the dark. We knew each other for year and we had small talks, but we weren’t friends. They didn’t give a fuck about me, while I tried befriending them. I talked and bought food sometimes.

In the end, I had to leave the group chat and stop replying their messages. We were never friends. Nothing gained, so nothing was lost.
I found in nursing that very rarely did I have actual friends. People were mainly acquaintances. Lots of superficiality. We could rely on some others in times of emergencies or heavy assignments. One learned quickly who those people were. I work alone now. I prefer it. My work friends from nursing are busy still working. We occasionally chat on FB messenger. I have a few closer Zoom friends. One is from here even. Took me a long time to recognize the valur of friends online and in life. You are already learning. Good luck.
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
It's ok to have social casual needs too.
Casheyane · F
@Queendragonfly Maybe. But I think I have enough of satisfying it.
It's time I focus on feeding the right ones.

You know that metaphor about the two different wolves? Like that.
Queendragonfly · 31-35, F
True friends are few in number
Acquaintances can become friends.
It takes mutual liking and making time to create shared experiences,
getting to know each other better.
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

- Stand By Me
It's been a while that I realised I only have acquaintances and it's okay.
SW-User
I'm an acquaintance to all
Casheyane · F
@SW-User I hope you find the person you can call a friend.
SW-User
@Casheyane I do have one friend I have had over 30 years ...and that's enough

 
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