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I have a terminally ill friend whom I care for and miss...but when he came over briefly today I didn't want to touch him. Is that a bad thing?

He is insane, IMO, to be out and about with his immune system destroyed by chemo and radiation. He is so ill his doctor won't do any further chemo or radiation, which means he may not last very much longer. He was supposed to have at least another year after his diagnosis last August...but that is only if they are able to treat the cancer.

He doesn't even know for sure, he said, whether or not he is still contagious with the C. Difficile bacteria he caught while living in the rehab facility. If he is contagious, he just touched all the door handles and buttons on his way in here, and handed me a bag he has also touched.

Tomorrow he is going to Boston, by himself for a needle aspiration to remove fluid from around his lungs, and thinks he is going to be able to take The Ride and then drive home by himself from the VA hospital in a truck that needs a lot of work. I told him he HAS to call me so I can come and get him and drive him home if he can't handle it.

I have washed my hands about a million times since he left. JK. I just don't want C.Difficile.

He just gave me some very generous gifts. He handed me about $900 worth of lidocaine patches he says he will not use, and a hundred dollar gift card for groceries as a Valentine's Day gift. He is always generous with food, and re-gifting things he will not use...but today made me realize that he is...cashing out.

When he left, he took out my trash. He is still trying to take care of me. Anyway...trying not to cry. Nothing easy about a friend dying.
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PeachesF
That is soooo sad!馃槶馃挃I will never understand WHY dying has to be so painful and heartbreaking...
4meAndyouF
@Peaches I am not sad today, my friend...don't worry for me or for him. Dying is a part of life, and we will all experience it. What is sad is when we care for one another too much to really let go. It is then that we suffer so. I was actually going to go to church this morning, but he called me very late last night and wants to come over today to use my copy machine. So...our lives go on, and will continue until the very end.
PeachesF
@4meAndyou I thought of that and am glad there is really no one in my life except for Mr.C. When and if he dies before me it will be easy for me to let go when my turn comes.