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I have a terminally ill friend whom I care for and miss...but when he came over briefly today I didn't want to touch him. Is that a bad thing?

He is insane, IMO, to be out and about with his immune system destroyed by chemo and radiation. He is so ill his doctor won't do any further chemo or radiation, which means he may not last very much longer. He was supposed to have at least another year after his diagnosis last August...but that is only if they are able to treat the cancer.

He doesn't even know for sure, he said, whether or not he is still contagious with the C. Difficile bacteria he caught while living in the rehab facility. If he is contagious, he just touched all the door handles and buttons on his way in here, and handed me a bag he has also touched.

Tomorrow he is going to Boston, by himself for a needle aspiration to remove fluid from around his lungs, and thinks he is going to be able to take The Ride and then drive home by himself from the VA hospital in a truck that needs a lot of work. I told him he HAS to call me so I can come and get him and drive him home if he can't handle it.

I have washed my hands about a million times since he left. JK. I just don't want C.Difficile.

He just gave me some very generous gifts. He handed me about $900 worth of lidocaine patches he says he will not use, and a hundred dollar gift card for groceries as a Valentine's Day gift. He is always generous with food, and re-gifting things he will not use...but today made me realize that he is...cashing out.

When he left, he took out my trash. He is still trying to take care of me. Anyway...trying not to cry. Nothing easy about a friend dying.
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I remember you talking about him many months ago and how you were helping him with some kind of insurance stuff.
4meAndyou · F
@MarmeeMarch Yes, he will not be able to sue the VA. They have a rule in place which allows them to legally delay for three months before informing patients of their aggressive cancers.
@4meAndyou Sounds weird
4meAndyou · F
@MarmeeMarch They'd be broke if they could be sued for all the deaths they caused in Veterans due to incompetence, delayed and cancelled appointments and Oops! You have stage 3B inoperable lung cancer, and we knew about it and forgot to tell you...(which is what happened to my friend).
@4meAndyou what about those cancer centers ? I am sure they cost alot
4meAndyou · F
@MarmeeMarch He walked out of the VA last August when they first told him they knew of the cancer, and were supposed to have scheduled a cat scan, but someone dropped the ball. The cat scan was never done, his doctor never informed, and he was never informed by his doctor. Three months later...he starts coughing up blood.

He is being treated at a private hospital now, both Brigham and Women's and Dana Farber in Boston, and he says the difference in the care he is receiving is like night and day. However, nothing in his diagnosis can ever change. The VA waited so long to tell him, without treating him, and the cancer was so aggressive that no matter who treats him, he will have about 13 months, max, to live. From last August.