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I have a terminally ill friend whom I care for and miss...but when he came over briefly today I didn't want to touch him. Is that a bad thing?

He is insane, IMO, to be out and about with his immune system destroyed by chemo and radiation. He is so ill his doctor won't do any further chemo or radiation, which means he may not last very much longer. He was supposed to have at least another year after his diagnosis last August...but that is only if they are able to treat the cancer.

He doesn't even know for sure, he said, whether or not he is still contagious with the C. Difficile bacteria he caught while living in the rehab facility. If he is contagious, he just touched all the door handles and buttons on his way in here, and handed me a bag he has also touched.

Tomorrow he is going to Boston, by himself for a needle aspiration to remove fluid from around his lungs, and thinks he is going to be able to take The Ride and then drive home by himself from the VA hospital in a truck that needs a lot of work. I told him he HAS to call me so I can come and get him and drive him home if he can't handle it.

I have washed my hands about a million times since he left. JK. I just don't want C.Difficile.

He just gave me some very generous gifts. He handed me about $900 worth of lidocaine patches he says he will not use, and a hundred dollar gift card for groceries as a Valentine's Day gift. He is always generous with food, and re-gifting things he will not use...but today made me realize that he is...cashing out.

When he left, he took out my trash. He is still trying to take care of me. Anyway...trying not to cry. Nothing easy about a friend dying.
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SmartKat56-60, F
I know it hurts. 馃

Try not to feel bad about not wanting to touch him. Illness can provoke reactions in other people that nobody expects. Especially a really serious illness, like this.

Don鈥檛 beat yourself up. You鈥檙e doing the best you can.
4meAndyouF
@SmartKat Thank you. 馃