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Coralmist 路 41-45, F
Yes for the last two years I have not heard from a good friend...I was the only one contacting her three years ago, after 25 YEARS of friendship 馃槙 It was really sad to me...I've bumped into her twice and she's said Let's hang out, but never contacts. We used to hang out a LOT years ago. I was never rude to her, supported her, etc. It hurt馃様 I'm seeing her at a mutual friends party soon and I don't know how to act.
Coralmist 路 41-45, F
@LukeTheDuke No..she was just acting normal as if we'd talked recently. I thought of I asked we might get into a tense conversation perhaps, and I HATE confrontation. People have told me just smile when I see her soon, but it really hurt me...we were good friends 25 years
LukeTheDuke 路 M
No just acting isn鈥檛 an answer. You owe it to yourself to ask. It is beyond me how after 25 years someone could think it right to just stop contacting a friend. Now what you have by pretending is not a friendship but a farce. One key element of friendship is knowing you can rely on someone and that is absent here. Surely that needs to be confronted, despite your dislike of confrontation? @Coralmist
Coralmist 路 41-45, F
@LukeTheDuke Oh we do not talk ever. We haven't gotten together in two years. I was cordial when I saw her, and she kind of led me on saying Let's get together..yet she never contacts. I've let it go in my mind.. but I'm unsure HOW to act soon when I see her
LukeTheDuke 路 M
Well simple, she鈥檚 no longer a friend, she also isn鈥檛 a stranger. She is someone who you knew (or thought you knew)very closely. You were a friend, confidante, no doubt you shared secrets, and you showed her your vulnerabilities, discussed your life problems and built a pact. She broke that pact. She showed you a lack of respect, by breaking that bond.
So you have two choices here the next time you see her. Either, ask her to have the respect to explain why she trashed your friendship, that is the least you can expect from a former friend. The other choice is to simply ignore her. Those are the two self-respecting choices in front of you.
I think the worst choice of all is to allow her to play with reality and pretend that she can have a conversation with you while ignoring what happened, I.e. she walked out on you. That allows her to control your behaviour and not explain her own. That鈥檚 a terrible choice imo.@Coralmist
So you have two choices here the next time you see her. Either, ask her to have the respect to explain why she trashed your friendship, that is the least you can expect from a former friend. The other choice is to simply ignore her. Those are the two self-respecting choices in front of you.
I think the worst choice of all is to allow her to play with reality and pretend that she can have a conversation with you while ignoring what happened, I.e. she walked out on you. That allows her to control your behaviour and not explain her own. That鈥檚 a terrible choice imo.@Coralmist
Coralmist 路 41-45, F
@LukeTheDuke @LukeTheDuke Thanks for such a detailed reply. It hurts me to ignore but she truly hurt my core and friendship. I felt like DO I even know her, after so long??? I appreciate your views..it feels too awkward to smile at her again and say Sure! , Knowing she doesn't care at all to contact me馃槙 Ty Luke馃尭