so how do people actually meet and make friends these days?

i find it exhausting but i do try to meet people when i move to a new city. (i have moved lots of times.) i've joined meetups, taken hobby classes, language classes, volunteered, joined gyms, running or walking in parks, i walk a lot in my neighborhood wherever i live. i go to cafes and bookstores. i sit at the communal table when i'm at the airport. yesterday i want to a happy hour event in my neighborhood and it was the typical scene. a few people scattered through the room. the music too loud and everyone's faces buried into their phones.

how do people make friends these days? i mean lasting and meaningful friendships.

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JoeyFoxx · 51-55, M

My daughter (mid 20's) recently met a guy as part of an activity group to which they belong. It's a group made up of primarily middle-aged folks, so these two happened to be the youngest.

The group had an out of town event and my daughter and her now boyfriend were brought together by circumstance. While they are in the same group, they didn't really have an opportunity to interact much until this event happened. One of the keys though is that she had befriended a number of the older folks, as had he. Effectively, the older folks vouched for the younger ones.

I suspect we are going back a little in time where the best way to meet people is to try to establish yourself as part of a community, not just to meet a special friend, but just to meet friends. Most of what you described above seems like a series of one and done events.

If you like to volunteer, maybe join a group that volunteers regularly, like habitat for humanity?

You need to allow people the opportunity to get to know you.

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JoeyFoxx · 51-55, M

@blindbob Be the change you want to see in the world.

Aren't you doing the same thing by asking for advice from complete strangers?

blindbob · 41-45

@JoeyFoxx i'm doing it here because i haven't got any other options.

JoeyFoxx · 51-55, M

@blindbob 🤔

SW-User

I tried so hard to make friends, and I find it extremely difficult sometimes.

blindbob · 41-45

@SW-User me 2.

SW-User

I dunno. I don't like anyone I know

Ryannnnnn · 31-35, M

I literally have no idea and i'm 27

blindbob · 41-45

@Ryannnnnn i never had friends when i was a kid, but in college and grad school, i had lots of friends and a healthy social life. since graduating, i haven't been able to make any real friends. i guess college environments are more primed for that sort of thing.

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