UnderLockDown · M
Miram · 31-35, F
I do something similar at times by meeting people where they're emotionally, despite the fact that they cannot do the same for me. It can be very draining.
I end up often side tracking my own needs to tend to theirs.
Not that I blame people for not being able to connect to me as deeply as I connect to them. We all have differing abilities and growth stages. It is just that it can hurt. There is a type of aloneness you only experience then.
I understand why you want to hide.
I end up often side tracking my own needs to tend to theirs.
Not that I blame people for not being able to connect to me as deeply as I connect to them. We all have differing abilities and growth stages. It is just that it can hurt. There is a type of aloneness you only experience then.
I understand why you want to hide.
Boeing · 36-40
@Miram thank you Miram 💜 it means a lot.
You are right about the depth of meeting with people and I do experience this drainage, of trying to meet them where they're at, or at least, trying to bridge the gap. Sometimes it gets pretty bad, to the point I'm doing the work of processing their emotions for them. It has taken me a lifetime to realize what I am doing..
We don't need to listen to everyone's stories in the end. I need to begin communicating through my presence that I'm not there for it, especially when I know it is the time to keep the energy to myself.
The difficulty is, I want to be there for people.
But not all moments are the same, so some moments I can and some others I cannot.
You are right about the depth of meeting with people and I do experience this drainage, of trying to meet them where they're at, or at least, trying to bridge the gap. Sometimes it gets pretty bad, to the point I'm doing the work of processing their emotions for them. It has taken me a lifetime to realize what I am doing..
We don't need to listen to everyone's stories in the end. I need to begin communicating through my presence that I'm not there for it, especially when I know it is the time to keep the energy to myself.
The difficulty is, I want to be there for people.
But not all moments are the same, so some moments I can and some others I cannot.
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StygianKohlrabi · 46-50, M
EldritchFox · 41-45, F
Boeing · 36-40
@EldritchFox It's a very small place and so the community..it is not just a single friend
I abandon myself to accommodate them by being overly sweet sometimes, allowing them to give me a little attention, or being overly accepting in listening to dark deep stories way too soon too fast...
I abandon myself by saying no when I mean yes, because the situation requires faster process than mine, or when I say yes when I mean no, similarly..
It is that, I returned back after a year I've been gone, I've changed, I don't want to appear too cold, but also it is not easy.. the fine line as Sage wrote in another comment..
I abandon myself to accommodate them by being overly sweet sometimes, allowing them to give me a little attention, or being overly accepting in listening to dark deep stories way too soon too fast...
I abandon myself by saying no when I mean yes, because the situation requires faster process than mine, or when I say yes when I mean no, similarly..
It is that, I returned back after a year I've been gone, I've changed, I don't want to appear too cold, but also it is not easy.. the fine line as Sage wrote in another comment..
SageWanderer · 70-79, M
Boeing · 36-40
@SageWanderer I need to get out that trauma finally, it's been years.
At least I can admit that I am scared and I can see what is happening, as far as I can see..
As you say though, self care first - then slow and easy, I might take another day or two, it won't harm anyone..
At least I can admit that I am scared and I can see what is happening, as far as I can see..
As you say though, self care first - then slow and easy, I might take another day or two, it won't harm anyone..
