Do you want a friendly advice? I don't do that really, giving advice like that. But I think celibacy can possibly help you heal. If you take sex out of the equation then see what happens. You will see things happening differently. I don't know though, maybe you already have been through it. But I don't mean sexless life, I mean a conscious abstinence which is very different point. Now excuse me for coming in like that. I only mean to say something loving. I hope you get me..
I always say if you go in wanting or expecting anything, most of the time people will see right through that. Nobody wants to be friendly or romantic with someone who just wants something out of them.
Take out any wants or expectations & just be real. If you think the person is attractive, it's usually okay to say it & leave it at that. What's crazy is that lots of people admit attraction then expect it to be returned, then get mad when it's not. Nobody owes anybody anything. Even if the person did express attraction then change their mind, I can understand the frustration but again, they don't owe you shit just because you were nice.
& The type of people who get pissed about it only shows that the "niceness" was all an act based on whether they got what they want or not 🤷
Sadly, I was one of those dudes in my younger years on sites like this. As much as I hate to admit it. And I hated myself for it.
And there’s dudes like that now.
Sorry you’re going through that. There are good people out there. And those who are just wanting to be friends.
But I saw a post this morning about that, and it was scary to see how everyone thought the woman was a schemer and manipulator. Maybe in that case she was, but it’s not like that for every woman, or man, who puts people in the friendzone.
Apologies on the wordiness of this. I’ll go back to being gifs and memes.
@BillyMack that post is what sparked this one. It was absolutely repulsive to see other men commenting like she was some psycho when she was actually being transparent about her feelings and still wanted to keep in touch with a man she admired but didn't have romantic feelings for. Which is her prerogative.
Don't ever apologize for wordiness. I love words and appreciate the effort it takes to open up and share. Thank you. I do enjoy the quick sillies! But effort is something rarely directed at me, so it's much appreciated.
@ScreamingFox yeah that certainly wasn’t a good look. To me it was one of two things: either those guys feel they’re owed something from this world, or that’s the trick they use. It’s disheartening for sure.
And thanks also for that. Most of the time I like to keep things light and fun. But there does seem to be some depth to this ole lumberjack at times too lol.
There is such a thing as a guy pretending to be kind in the hopes for sex.
If they are disappointed, I hope they realize how much more disappointing it is for a woman who thinks she's made a real connection only to discover it was all lies.
I thought i should share this with you that you are and always will be safe while communicating with as my ntentions are never to see through like a sexual object for any gratification. I enjoy the banter, good sense of humor and appreciate the support which are NOT in any shape or form of sexual advancement.
I never understood that approach. I'm always upfront about what I'm doing(in my case, I am engaged). In fact, I have never seen someone move out of the friend zone.
As soon as the term "friendzone" started being said like 15 years ago I knew it was trouble lol. Women are people and don't deserve the pressure of being accused of "friendzoning".
Imagine the society, only bases on sexual transation, we couldnt trust anyone. Our daughter, our sisters, our mothers, loved ones, friends ans family, no one in the society will ever be safe per say. It is utterly disgusting. I was just thinking about this yesterday in relation to SW in general.
@Fieldmaster Transactional but often only one way and generally to the man's benefit. It is one of the reasons I have left the dating scene. I'm tired of being an object for transactions. I get that when you keep things sanitary of emotions, you don't have risk being hurt, but there are men's sexual aids that work just as well so you never have to use a person for your needs. I don't care if it doesn't "feel the same". Neither does sex with someone who has no emotions.
It's tiring. It also makes it hard not to assume that the moment a man messages me he isn't just trawling for sex. And I hate having that immediate thought every time.
@MsSwan Right...i think, it is social media, combined self centrered, instant gratifcation norms and terrible up bringing where neither of the parents could properly parent for various reasons. People now days dump everything on schools to take care.. no the good values and morals are taught at home, not schools.
We are little young childern and kids wild in the school system and then wonder what happened
@Fieldmaster we were raised to treat everyone with respect and kindness, take them as brother and sister in humanity. Give women their due repect and never to cast lustful gaze. I do my best still and make sure our women members feel safe and respected around me.
