Hey girl, I heard you're looking for a stud. Well, I got the STD, so all I need is U!

Quick, let's head over to my place before my wife/gf comes back.

Me: You look just like my first wife
Her: Really? How many times have you been married?
Me: None....

you smell nice what do you have on?
-I have a hardon but I didn't know you could smell it

It's not really a pickup line but when I was in high school there was this guy making these super cringe tragic-romantic posts on FB like "I've just discovered that my life was completely meaningless before finding you ❤️❤️❤️❤️", usually followed by the name of the girl and a lot more hearts and a pic. "I want to go to the highest mountain and yell to the world how much I love you", you've surely grasped the kind of message

Problem is, anyway, he had a new girlfriend averagely every 15 to max 30 days. These posts were deleted, and new ones came up every time (no, he didn't recycle the text at least)

I remember that at some point I muted/blocked him, worse than a walking south American soap opera

"I just shit my pants. Can I get in yours?"

I'm not much of a pick up line type of guy, people naturally are drawn to me. All I have to do is smile at someone, and next thing I know is I'm finding out all about them.

“ I’ve got one minute to spare so let’s make love and then we can use the other 40 seconds to have a drink “ 😂😂😂

I went all the way to the bank to pick you up because you're the cha ching to my heart.

If I said you have the perfect body would you hold it against me?

Love cheesy pick up lines!

Did you just fall from heaven? Because you look like a dead bird.

I vaguely remember you saying after drugging me. You`ll love my dudgeon. 😐

Hey girl, Do you play the trombone? Cause I got something for you to blow on....😏

Help I've fallen and I can't get it up. Perhaps you can help?

Get in the fucking car. Now. Lets not make a scene.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? (corniest)

You remind me of my ex.

“ Are your nipples always hard or are you just pleased to see me ? “ 😉😆😂

Lol. I haven't gotten enough to get a bad one.

All the relationships I have been in, have happened through divine serendipity and sheer force of will. Haha.

Wow, you're so beautiful that I vomited in my mouth a little when I saw you.*HARD GULP*

You must be from Tennessee because you're the only 10 I see

My husband would not care..........😄

wanna go to Telegram i have pics that i want to send you

You know how much a polar bear weighs? Enough to break the ice with you

"Wanta fool around real quick? My wife won't be back for twenty minutes or so."

Let's have some tea/coffee

Is there a mirror in your pants?
Cause I see myself in them

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

🫢Hi don't I know you? ....How would I know who you know?

Your teeth are like stars they only come out at night

Look we fucking are not?

Are you trash?

Because I would like to take you out.

I lost my phone number...can I have yours???

Lets go to the rock quarry because I'm a little boulder there

they usually just lick their lips

Hi I am David

Hi 🥺

I’m like Hi…..😐

Hey baby.. come to the bathroom with me and show me your cock.. if I ike it you can fuck my ass. It was a dude though so I had to decline.. lol

You look like an old girlfriend of mine that I haven’t seen in many years, except better!

Are your feet tired?

Because you’ve been running through my mind all night!

I heard you lost your orgasm. It must be somewhere under your clothes. Let me help you look under there and see if I can find it for you.

"I don't know about you but I'm a little horney"

Actually, it was said to a friend by a guy:
"Woah, you look better than an income tax refund !"
(He also had five small children in tow, so apparently that was quite a compliment.)

yo momma so fat she tried to eat you cause you so hot

you look like my dog

Never had to use any

Hey bb wna fuk? Show bob nd vagene pls