My best friend's wife passed away today.
I really suck at being there during such emotional times. Please help. I want him to feel I'm there for him.
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Mostly just be there. Look out for him - make sure he's eating, sleeping, breathing. Listen if he wants to talk but don't force it.
Your caring presence is what matters. It will matter more in a couple of days when the funeral is over and everybody else has gone back to their lives.
Your caring presence is what matters. It will matter more in a couple of days when the funeral is over and everybody else has gone back to their lives.
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Caleidoscope · F
SinlessOnslaught · 26-30, M
saragoodtimes · F
TexChik · F
@saragoodtimes bring some food . You don’t have to cook . Sam’s or Costco have stuff ready up eat after it’s heated up . Help pick up around the house while people are there , do some dishes , clean out his fridge so all the left over food can be put away . He’s going to be crushed and spending time with his immediate family , but he will know you were there. He’s your best friend .
TexChik · F
@saragoodtimes mom was always very clear about what to do in these situations . She would call everybody and they would all pick a dish . She usually fried chicken or made a cake . And they cleaned up the house. If the person died in bed they changed the sheets , did the bath rooms and made the place look presentable
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smiler2012 · 61-69
InOtterWords · F
This is so sad.
Almost 2 years ago my friend died, leaving behind 2 kids.
The husband has little family support because of location but I live very close to them.
He tends to do ok with food, he likes to cook, but he does need help with childcare. I do a lot of that. The kids know they have a safe place with me....and he knows that he can go fir a run, or even veg out on the sofa after work for an hour.
The husband, now does see me as a friend, I realised if I sent him a text asking him how he was he would not reply, but if I sent jokes or memes or actually texted about something we would have a conversation.
Also he would refuse offers of coffee,meet ups but if I turned up on his doorstep he would stick the kettle on and would open up.
All of this happened during covid and lockdowns, we became his support bubble and he knows we all are there for his family unit.
In terms of words, there are no right ones. It is the gestures that count. Be present for him and the kids.
Almost 2 years ago my friend died, leaving behind 2 kids.
The husband has little family support because of location but I live very close to them.
He tends to do ok with food, he likes to cook, but he does need help with childcare. I do a lot of that. The kids know they have a safe place with me....and he knows that he can go fir a run, or even veg out on the sofa after work for an hour.
The husband, now does see me as a friend, I realised if I sent him a text asking him how he was he would not reply, but if I sent jokes or memes or actually texted about something we would have a conversation.
Also he would refuse offers of coffee,meet ups but if I turned up on his doorstep he would stick the kettle on and would open up.
All of this happened during covid and lockdowns, we became his support bubble and he knows we all are there for his family unit.
In terms of words, there are no right ones. It is the gestures that count. Be present for him and the kids.
brian29715 · 46-50, M
