Why do people kill their partners? I have been watching a lot of videos for a long while now...

I think under the right circumstances, the majority of people could become killers. I think these killings are enabled by two things: easy access to a murder weapon, and strong enough emotion.

These are known as "crimes of passion" for a reason. A strong enough passion in anyone can overcome common sense, at least temporarily. Crimes of passion are very common, especially here in the US where access to guns is so easy that all kinds of murder are very common.

The table below tells us nearly half of the murdered women in the U.S. are killed by "intimates" - spouses, exes, or boyfriends. Another quarter are killed by "friends or acquantances." Notice that over half the male victims were killed by family members. These are crimes of passion.

* Males were nearly 4 times more likely than females to be
murdered in 2008
* Males were 7 times more likely than females to commit murder in 2008
* Female murder victims (41.5%) were almost 6 times more likely than male murder victims (7.1%) to have been killed by an intimate.
* More than half (56.4%) of male murder victims were killed by
an acquaintance; another quarter (25.5%) were murdered by a
stranger.

myotherlife · 61-69, M

I am divorced, i actually took.my ex to the hospital while we were going through our divorce and she wasnt feeling right. Only thing murdered was my budget.

HootyTheNightOwl

I put this to AI... and it came out with a few things that you might not have considered.

I don't want to mess with the exact wording that I got, so I'm going to paste the whole thing here for you:-

That observer is wrestling with a terrifying paradox: the illusion of the "normal" perpetrator.

What they are missing is that domestic homicide is rarely the result of a sudden, spontaneous snap by an otherwise healthy person, nor is it usually the work of a raving psychopath who wears their malice on their sleeve. Instead, it is almost always the catastrophic end-point of a slow, hidden escalation of coercive control, entitlement, and a total collapse of problem-solving under extreme ego threat.

The public narrative often relies on the shocking "good neighbour" trope—the idea that someone was ordinary until one day they weren't—because true domestic abuse operates behind closed doors. The warning signs were there, but they rarely look like a cinematic villain plotting in the shadows. Instead, they look like escalating possessiveness, a silent rage when control is challenged, a profound lack of emotional regulation, and a worldview where the partner is viewed not as an autonomous human being, but as an extension of the perpetrator's own ego. When that "possession" feels threatened (such as through a planned separation, financial exposure, or a blow to their status), the violence isn't a random glitch; it's a final, brutal attempt to reassert total dominance.

Furthermore, the observer's belief that a partner would always notice if someone was plotting against them underestimates how human psychology works under sustained stress. When you live with someone, normalcy bias is a powerful survival mechanism. The brain actively rejects the unthinkable because the reality—that the person sharing your bed is dangerous—is too psychologically destabilising to process while you are living inside it. Victims don't miss the signs because they are unobservant; they miss them because perpetrators are masters of compartmentalisation, gaslighting, and keeping their lethal intentions hidden until the trap is fully sprung.

Captainjackass · 31-35, M

Im actually surprised the people I grew up with didn’t kill each other.

Also whens the wedding?

Pretzel · 70-79, M

Have they never heard of divorces?
I have seen one or two where they did it because they didn't believe in divorce for religious reasons....wow

ElwoodBlues · M

@GerOttman says

Mostly due to environmental factors. Lead exposure, microplastics in the brain, microwaves, pcb's... the list is nearly endless!

The rate of women killed by partners in the US is far higher than in the rest of the developed world, just as the US overall murder rate is far higher than in the rest of the developed world.

So you're suggesting that "Lead exposure, microplastics in the brain, microwaves, pcb's," etc are far higher in the US??

Nope, sorry dude, they have those pollutants in other developed countries too. The higher murder rates in the US are caused by easy access to guns.

Akimbo75 · 46-50, F

Some people don't want the stigma, compromise and cost of divorce, so this is their solution.

Last week a man in Michigan shot his wife and 6 kids, then himself, and set the house on fire. Like, why not just kill himself, why did he need to take everyone down with him?

FloorGenAdm · 51-55, M

Look at the wars going on and how far some will go for control.

GerOttman · 70-79, M

Mostly due to environmental factors. Lead exposure, microplastics in the brain, microwaves, pcb's... the list is nearly endless!

Munumbis · 46-50, M

Depends on what's going on in the relationship. Was the killer psychotic or was there abuse going on or drugs involved. Lots of things go wrong.

Mindful · 56-60, F

It is crazy. You're right that it is Crazy. I find it more likely that people simply never really knew the person in the first place. That person was never truly heard by another. I personally do not know anything at all about some of my neighbors, so if you asked me what o thought about them (if they had killed someone) I would not be able to describe them and would only be able to say they "seemed normal" and had done nothing suspicious. That doesn't mean anything. On the surface everyone seems normal. Only something like an aneurism would result in some wild sudden change in behavior. MAYBE living in years of isolation accompanied by verbal or physical abuse.

chrisCA · M

If a woman is trapped in an abusive relationship, she may believe it is her only way out and a way to protect her family.

1490wayb · 56-60, M

greed or self-defense