I might not be able to help with the "self love and didtrust of men issues" you are going through but i can probably help with cooking.
What's the issue? You could join Chef Todd Mohrs onlinecooking.com
I reviewed his lessons and he gave me a lifetime subscription.

I'm about 3x older than you and retiring. I have a condition where my body does not produce testosterone so my sex drive is dead.
I'm also extremely overweight but my Neanderthal genes are keeping me alive.

Best wishes.

Here are some pictures i took over the years.

[media=https://youtu.be/_j8J3bNqwQE?si=Z8vTX0f-KM9fteCR]

You have commented before about online videos not helping.

Is there a friend or family member who can be with you in the kitchen and give you some pointers?

Or even, a friend or coworker you can get into conversations with like, "Well, I tried to cook so and so last night and it came out kinda dry. Do you have any advice?"

Or, are there community education classes, at night, in your area? There might be some cooking classes.

Two cardinal rules I tend to follow.

1) When in doubt, low and slow. Cooking things for longer at lower heats gives you more time to check things, react, and not burn anything.

2) Different people have different tastes. Your favorite flavor profiles aren't necessarily going to match up with others. This means that improving your cooking is subjective. It actually becomes an exercise in learning about the person or people you are cooking for.

If you are just cooking for yourself, experiment a little. Take a steady base item you are comfortable making and try changing our adjusting various spices and seasonings to learn how they impact flavor and aroma. Once you get comfortable with that, try making things with different consistencies and textures to get a feel for how they react to heat and how they go together. Then after a while, you can really test yourself by trying to 'make up a dish'. This is commonly done when you have leftover items from making other dishes but not exactly what you need to make something you know and are familiar with. When you can sort through a variety of items and concoct something that tastes halfway decent on the fly, then you are going to be just fine cooking.

Measure carefully, follow recipes exactly, stay with whatever you are cooking and pay attention to what is happening…easy to get distracted if something takes time to cook. If you have someone older who can help guide you to making basic foods that would be a good start.

Practice, but also study and detailed analysis of what you make. Like really taste it - what did you like? What could be better? What didn't you like? What do you want to taste more or less of?

Lots of practice and search for tips and tricks.

Do not try every recipe that you see on the internet.

Short list a few...pay attention...and repeat until near perfection.

It just takes practice.

By practice.

Practice makes perfect or something like that

More aromatics

Order take-out?