What was your worst cooking disaster?

Cant say i have a worst because i have a few disasters. Back in 1988 when i started living with my first wife, before we got married, i decided to cook us tea for her to come home from work to. It consisted of jacket potato, sweetcorn and peas. She came home and i put tea out....she asked straight away where the meat was....my reply was....Are you supposed to have meat with it? Then i found that we needed a jackhammer to get through the jacket potato...i had put 2 big jacket potatoes in the microwave for 10 mins, thats all i thought it would take. Moving on some years i am now married to my 2nd wife and i tried to cook a simple tea of corned beef stew. Well i put it on and sat to watch a bit of tv while it cooked. After a while i smelled it and it wasnt nice. It had boiled dry and burned....one pan ruined. I made some more and didnt realise you had to stir it from time to time, it burned again. Another time my wife asked me to make some cowl for tea (welsh stew) which consisted of braising steak, leek, carrots, potatoes and swede. I dished it up for us for tea....on a plate (supposed to be in a bowl) and she asked me where the juice is so i told her i put it down the sink. Next thing she askes me if anything was wrong with the swede, i said nothing wrong as far as i know. There was though.....apparently you are supposed to peel it first. I didnt, i just sliced it and cut it into bits but didnt know your supposed to peel it first. My cooking skills are not good lol oh, and another one came to mind.....i bought a pizza to cook and when i got home i put it in the oven, not problem so far. I was, however, to find out that it is a good idea to take it off the polystyrene base it came on before you try to cook it.