Went out to dinner alone

I used to do it often before COVID . But I've only gone back into a sit down restaurant a couple times since COVID began. My sister has two autoimmune disorders and her doctor said she's at much more risk of dying than a regular person. Luckily the strains have diminished in strength. So I went into a sit down restaurant tonight alone and it was nice being waited on. Lots of people mingling and laughing. But it always stings a little being alone, even though I don't mind. No one around me is ever alone.. everyone is with a partner, spouse, friend or family.

I hope I can meet an old friend I have not seen in 30 years!!! I'm just so damn nervous. I'm not doing great in life and I feel shame. She's doing very well. But anyway I'm working at overcoming this because it would be wonderful to meet and laugh like we did as kids!!