I Was Paddled In High School

NOW MY GIRLS KNOW!

All corporal punishment had been outlawed in New York State for several years before my girls were born, so by the time they started school I knew they would never experience the “joy" of having to bend over and get their butts whacked by the principal's paddle.
My daughter Jennifer was in Seventh Grade wood shop class when one student's attention was drawn to a glass case on one side of the classroom. Among the objects, all examples of the work of former students, was a long pinewood board about two feet long and four inches wide, complete with a handle and a loop of leather that went through a small hole at the handle's tip.
“What's that?” he asked.
The teacher smiled. “What do you think it is?” he asked.
The students produced various guesses.
“A bread board?”
“Noooo,” said the teacher.
“I know!” said Jennifer. “It's one of those pizza shovels for taking pizza out of the oven!”
Knowing that nobody in his class could guess the answer, the shop teacher revealed, “It's a paddle!”
“What's it for?” asked a girl.
“To spank unruly students back in the old days,” the teacher laughed.
The class chorused “Whaaat??” “No way!” “On the butt?”
“Well sure, on the butt,” said the teacher. “That's the paddle I used on any student who messed around in my class!”
“My God!” said another girl. “How old are you?”
“Old enough to know how to handle a kid who disrupted my class! Besides,” he continued, “there are dangerous power tools here, and someone could get hurt if he fooled around. A sore butt was a lot better than buzzed-off fingers!”


On the bus ride home Jennifer related the story to her two sisters, Jessica and Renee. They could hardly wait to get home, because they had a very curious question to ask their Mom.
I was chopping up some vegetables for the evening's dinner when the girls came in.
“Mom?” asked Jennifer.
“Yes, Jen?”
“Uh...were you...uh—were you ever paddled in school?”
I had never told the girls about my paddling in the principal's office when I was a Senior. I reacted as though Jen had asked how babies were made (and of course they knew that thanks to Sex Education class).
“Why do you ask that, Jen?” I asked nervously. I really didn't like to discuss the incident.
Jennifer explained how the class saw a paddle on display, and that the teacher used it on students. He had told the class how paddling was a very common punishment in school right up until the 1980's.
“Well,” I said, “yes I was. When I was in Twelfth Grade.”
Renee asked, “What did you do?”
I sighed. “Something really stupid and thoughtless, and I paid the price for it.”
"You mean they spanked you in school?” asked Jessica.
“Not spanked, Jess,” I corrected. “Paddled! There's a big difference.”
“So they paddled girls too?” asked Jess.
“Why not?” I replied. “We have the same butts as boys do! And remember, being girls didn't stop Grandma Dumont from tanning me, or your Aunt Gretchen or your Aunt Audrey!”
“Did you cry?” Renee asked.
“Ooooh yeah!” I laughed. “The principal gave me six of the hardest whacks in the world—right across my skirt!”
“So he hit you hard, Mom?” Jennifer asked.
“As hard as possible,” I answered. Then I added, “Don't you girls have homework to do?” I really didn't want to talk about it any more. I knew that in their collective mind's eye they imagined their mother bent over a desk and walloped on her miniskirt with that board! It somehow tended to break down parental dignity!
So off they went to their rooms, giggling a bit while I pondered our conversation. Since the State did away with paddling, not only did my girls not know how students of only a few short years ago received swats—they also did not recognize a school paddle when they saw one!