BF is telling me I can't wear my new pants?

My boyfriend just told me the new pants I bought are 'too much' because they show off my curves a little extra 😅 Like, babe... I have a big butt, it's literally just part of me! Not something I'm trying to do on purpose or anything. They're super cute, fit me perfectly, and make me feel confident. Why is it suddenly a problem when something actually looks good on my body? 🥺
Am I just being sensitive?

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faery · F

Well, now you have to wear them or the power dynamic will be all askew. Never let someone take control of your autonomy 🙂‍↔

ViciDraco · 41-45, M

@faery basically this ^

Valid approach: I just want you to know I feel X when you wear those.

That let's you know his feelings and gives you the power to make a decision about it. If you decide to stop wearing them it is coming from a place of consideration on your end.

When he says you can't, he's making a decision for you. You don't have to accept his decision, but now the framing is whether you are your own person or his person.

faery · F

@ViciDraco Exactly 😌 It's okay to feel insecure. It's okay to do things to support someone you care about that feels insecure. It's not okay to give up freedom for someone's insecurities because they say you have to or else. It just encourages more of the same and totally bypasses honest communication.