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I took my son to the cemetery today to be with his mom.

My son is a very special young man. He was born with hydrocephalus (excess fluid in the cranial cavity). There was so much fluid, it compressed parts of his brain and his optic nerves, causing severe cerebral palsy and cortical blindness. The scar tissue from all the brain surgeries left him with epilepsy which has been responsible for some very scary and dangerous seizures requiring ambulance rides to Children's Hospital emergency where they've had to stop his heart so they can pump it for him.

We all build fluid in our cranial cavities. It's the fluid that cushions our brains from banging around in our skulls, but we have a drain that keeps it circulating and flowing out. My son's drain never developed, along with his corpus callosum, which is a bundle of nerves that connects to the left hemisphere of the brain to the right hemisphere, allowing them to coordinate and function as one unit.

As a result of All My Sons specialties, he can't walk, he has a very scant verbal communication skills, he can hardly see. He's legally blind. He can't use the toilet. He won't eat. I feed him through a G-tube come in on top of everything else he's highly autistic. So the bit of communication he does do, he does a lot. He doesn't over and over and over and over and over.

He's also got really bad scoliosis, one kidney, he's had both his hips replaced due to severe hip dysplasia. He's had a few other intestinal surgeries as well. I'm not saying any of this to drum up any sort of sappy pity or sympathy for jake. He's tough as nails. And happier than most of the people you've ever met here or especially on Reddit.. the only reason I'm explaining his condition is because it's interesting when compared to the rest of our day.

We'd spend about 20 minutes or half hour with his mom, completely alone. Nobody anywhere near our vicinity. . When we were leaving and I was loading him onto his seat that lifts him into the van, he started talking about sitting with Linda. I wasn't sure I heard him right so I asked him to repeat it. He said I want to sit with Linda (Winda). I asked him who Linda was and he kept repeating, "wanna sit with winda.. ...w-w-with winda, with winda. W-w-wanna si-si-si-sit with winda. W-WITH WINDA! W-W-WITH WWWINDA!

There was nobody else physically in the vicinity of me or Jake the whole time we were visiting. He talked about Linda all the way home. I have no idea who the fuck he met at the cemetery. He's never talked about Linda before. He's never said that name before, ever in his whole life.

By the time we got home, he was going on about how enthusiasticly she had greeted him and he was matching her enthusiasm with his replies to her.."Hoy, Winda! H-h-h-hoyyy, W-Wwinda! ..h-h-h-h-sit with W-W-Winda! Ghhhhhhh!

Oh yea, on top of everything else he's got a mad stutter

I think I'll take him back there maybe this weekend and start reading the names on the headstones to see if there are any Lindas, and I'll definitely be sleeping with him in his room tonight to make sure Linda's not a bad influence on my man. But so far she makes him really happy whoever she is and according to him he makes her happy. He's been talking about her all night

I recently saw a podcast where the guest was talking about people with Autism having the ability to do what Jake themed to be doing today. I wasn't completely paying attention and wasn't sure if they mentioned any science behind it
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exexec · 70-79, C
I am sorry you and your son are facing this situation. One of my friends had hydrocephalus and I believe he held the record for living the longest with that condition. His limitations were not as severe as your son's, but they were certainly obvious to all. Fortunately, his peers, including me, saw him as a friend and he was able to lead a happy life. I hope you son can do the same.
Jayciedubb · 56-60, M
@exexec thanks for understanding. I cringe when I think about all the close calls when we'd wake up for who knows what reason and check on the boys to find Jake seizing and we were able to get him to the hospital in time. We have medicine to give him if we catch it early enough.

He has a happy life, but it could be better. I had him in an adult special needs daycare program for a ahort while. Unfortunately, his peers weren't as kind to him as your friend's were to him.

Idk exactly what they were doing to him. I just know he didn't like it and the caregivers knew about it but when i asked them why his pants legs were pulled up past his knees and his legs were all red, they lied to me as fast as they could, telling me two different lies, neither of them held any water. Leading up to that point, i had been noticing his hair was getting very thin. It was looking like he was going bald fast.

I thought about the times I'd picked him up and heb was totally out of it and disoriented. I thought it was because he was tired, but I think.. .. I don't think about it.

He used to have all his brothers friends to chat with in the background while they were playing video games online with each other. That was enough for him but then my other son moved out and took all his friends with him

After I put a little bit of thought into it, I realized that it was bound to happen. No matter what. I think I need to get us a couple more dogs. All dogs love Jake for some reason. He's like the Pied Piper of dogs. They flock to him
exexec · 70-79, C
@Jayciedubb I'm a great believer in the power of dogs. I'm glad they are attracted to him.
Jayciedubb · 56-60, M
@exexec same here. At one point we had 11 LOL it was a family of Doberman Pinschers. I had bought their parents from two different breeders, not planning on breeding but planning on having two Doberman Pinschers because the three I'd had in the past spoiled me on the breed.

On the females third heat, I had them separated as I had done for the first two and I had to leave for an appointment not knowing my wife would be working from home later that day. While I was still waiting to be seen, my wife sent me a photo of the two of them stuck together in the backyard.

We went back and forth with the idea and decided to have them and as I was caring for them I noticed how good they were making me feel. I didn't realize that they made us create oxytocin and it seems to me that the more dogs I had the more of that puppy love I felt. So I changed the plan after selling three. My wife and I are both combat veterans and I thought it would be a good idea to share the rest of mine with returning veterans to make the transition back into civilian life a lot easier. I know it would have been nice for me if I would have had one when I got home.

It turned into a big mountain of red tape, so I ended up keeping the rest. they were all so very sweet to Jake from the very beginning. It was the height of the financial crisis so I didn't have any neighbors to worry about