I am a divorced NCP of three kids. My ex gets a huge CS check each month of 3k.

👆 truth

Do you have kids?

Zero forced CS is what happens in just about every state. My belief is if both spouses had to pay there share of CS into a fund for the kids..then the spouse who has custody gets money from that fund it would be more fair.

@MightyAphrodite: I have puppies..

I know that not everyone abuses the system but it's ugly when they do..

my dad met a guy once who was building a house with the money his gf got for child support for her son..

and there's other people too..

@PTCdresser57: Yep. And when the piece of trash mother who never worked a day in her life can't pay into the fund.. well we will see who actually supports the kids. ...speaking from experiences. It's not always like this though. Sometimes it's the other way around.

@ZeroG: My cousins mom would buy shoes and stuff with her child support money. Not shoes for my cousin, but you know heels and shit to wear out partying.

@NoDaveParty: yeah exactly 🙄

This is spot on. It should be 50/50 parenting time. No child support. Each parent provides their half.

Exactly AmazingPoet...thats what I was trying to say.

@PTCdresser57: and lets say my husband divorced me
Where would I be left I quit my job to be a full-time mom and do everything for the kids
I dont earn anything
But I do everything
Im so glad I dont live in USA😐😐

@ZeroG: Sorry just to add to this but my ex gets $3k a month. She made the decision to move my kids 300 miles from me without the courts approval. Abandoned the house that the kids were raised in on a knee jerk reaction to be with her new lover. The court at least said because you abandoned the house your paying for it until it sells. So we have a home that sits empty trying to sell while $1500 of my 3K of child support goes to an empty house that will not sell all because of an emotional based decision on her part. Not only was it that, it was selfish because she uprooted the kids on her whim to move them from the schools, community and home that they were raised in. Angry.... yes I am. Just a little bit. Asking God to help me with bitterness - EVERY MORNING NOON AND NIGHT.

It is not easy.

When divorce goes bad it goes bad.

@AmazingPoet: that is bad I'm sorry 😯😯

Sorry AmazingPoet...cant believe the courts didnt make her move back. I have friends whose wife did that and the courts made her move back.

@MightyAphrodite: The last night we got into a fight I left and I knew it was the end. I was so scared...

I bordered a plane to get out of the domestic violence relationship. She slammed her head repeatedly on the wall the night before in front of my kids.

When the plane landed it was like 5am. I was like asleep and we went to get off the plane. Well this woman sitting next to me was reading her bible. She looked over at me. And it was this moment I felt my worst in life. Like I had abandoned my kids family etc. I was sad. She said "He wants you to know that you are a good father". She turned her ear to the isle of the plane and said "He wants you to know that he loves you".

It was at that moment that I realized that even though I had abandoned God in life he never once abandoned me. That single moment has help me to survive more than anything. Knowing that I am not alone and that God is and always will be with me. God loves me and thats all that matters.

Your children are not really yours. They are on loan to you for a few years of your life then they go out into the world. Yeah I don't see them as much anymore, but I enjoy those small moments even more so than ever before.

@AmazingPoet: Same thing happened to me kinda. Except my wife moved back home to her parents... their family is like hella close it's almost on a new level of weird. And on top of everything else she goes and tells everyone that I abandoned my child and wont communicate by skype. To which everyone called bullshit and it kinda blew up in her face. This all started when I got a different bank account after I had saw that she had spent money on Chippendales when I was in the California desert training with the army. I haven't seen my child who is less than 2 years old in over a year. So she probably doesn't even remember me. I'm not paying anything right now, and am trying to get my financial situation cleaned up after being cleaned out by my wife. After that I'm going to fight for custody. I already know she misuses prescription medication, her family hordes animals, and god know what hoodrats she has coming around my daughter. Also you can request a guardian ad litem in some states to check in from time to time to see how the living conditions for the children are, which I plan to do.

@PTCdresser57: It was either end the divorce and get out of $4k a month maintenance mode and let her go on with her life and me with mine or continue the fight. Lots of praying to God on that decision and I decided to use that moment to end the fighting and move forward. Was it the right move, idk, it was just what I felt from God was the best move forward to make all parties happy and move on with our lives.

@AmazingPoet: gosh😢😢
Im sure you're gonna be fine
Sorry you married a head banger..it's best you're not together
If it were me I'd buy things for the kids if you want..but don't do that you have to keep them in my home thing

I came from a broken family...the worst of it is the non ending bickering and sniping and arguing 😢😢

That's what really stayed with me

@NoDaveParty: I feel for you. Your lucky she didn't go to the stripclub and file a protection order against you on top of it. Then play the he doesn't want anything to do with his kids.

My friend right now hasn't seen his kids since thanksgiving. She played the abuse card and the judge discriminated on him based on gender. Now he is forced to pay CS, Alimony, live in his parents basement and cannot see his kids. Meanwhile she has remarried. Two weeks ago, the judge decided the protection order should be lifted. Previous to that he wasnt allowed at church because they attended the same church. So two weeks ago he went to church same time she did. She called the cops on him right there in the middle of church service. Disrupting church and the cops did nothing to him as he did nothing but want to attend his faith.

Its appalling how women get away with the protection order without any credible evidence behind it. My female counselor said that in all of her counseling not once was abuse one side. She said 99% of the time abuse is a two way street on both sides. If women went to prison for emotional abuse as much as men for physical abuse the world would be a different place. In my opinion, I would rather get hit punched or slapped by a woman than be told the things my ex said to me.

@MightyAphrodite: I do try to rise above it. We went to a candy store one time and my kids asked me if they could have some money to get some candy for their mom when they went home. We were at this cool amish store. Inside , I wanted to say if the candy was rat poison. But I had to really be christlike in that moment and allow it even though it was by far the last thing I wanted to do. I think hitting myself in the balls would have been easier.

@AmazingPoet: you did good 😊

@AmazingPoet: They say they want equal rights, but it's really about control. These feminists want to have everything their way. But then again those are just some people. It's taken everything I have in me not to hate women because of my situation. My wife is going to try to play the abuse card. We had some things happen during which she was the one who hit me, and I merely restrained her trying to diffuse the situation. I know better now. Anytime you make physical contact with any woman in any way the whole thing will be your fault. Even if you never hit her or anything like she did to you. I've been at this for so long though I really don't care anymore. My wife is just bottom of the barrel common trash. That's what it is. I will always be here if my daughter needs me or wants to know who I am. One day the truth will come out, until then I'm better off not worrying about it.

Poet...one thing I found out now that my daughter is 33. We talked about her mom and me and the thing she was happiest about was neither one of us talked bad about the other ex. When it came to Christmas she was able to buy her mom a present...I payed for. So be the bigger person in your kids eyes and they will love you more when they get older for doing it.

@PTCdresser57: that is sooooooo important
My parents never stopped whining about each other
Even when my mother died my father still never stopped....
It totally consumed him
He cant stand me as I look like my mother and she used to complain of how I looked like him..
I dont talk to him now and never will agsin and he doesn't know his grand kids
It's his own fault...oh and one of the other things I was sick of hearing about was maintenance payments...and how much he gave etc etc
I was made to feel like a burden

@NoDaveParty: Yes abuse is a two way street. In court , its a one way street. Like I said if emotional abuse were counted a lot of women would be imprisoned.

Aphrodite....I dont get divorcing couples....they were friends before marriage so go back to that. No child should have to hear that stuff and be made to feel like a burden